I think that the worst aspect of my young years was the fact that my parents did not really "see" me. In fact, if Dad was hitting me, it almost felt "right" because at least he was "seeing" me. My mother and father demanded perfection in our home-my mom had to have custom-made. lined drapes, while her kids wore holey socks held up with rubber bands and so on. Omission is like apathy- which to me, is the opposite of love.

What do you think about this?


asked 18 Jan '10, 01:20

Jaianniah's gravatar image


It's easy for people to judge sins of comission harder because they are the "visible" sins. Sometimes a sin of ommission can go unnoticed for days, months or even years and therefore seem less serious. God is clear in the Bible though that He sees all things and that there is no partiality with Him. A sin is sin whether it is high profile or private.

It's easy to justify sins of omission as well. After all, we're not actually murdering someone, committing immorality or getting drunk right? What's so bad about walking by on the other side? Wrong!

Failing to love is a violation of the 2nd greatest commandment! God said to love Him and to love others. Failure to care, failure to get involved in other's lives when they need our help, failure to think of others instead of just ourselves is failure to obey.

Our problem is that we do not think God's thoughts. We think very superficially as people. If it looks bad on the outside it's bad we say. We tend to sweep the other stuff under the rug. Our second problem is that we are selfish. We tend to center our standards and convictions around ourselves. If it is convenient for me to serve God in this way or that, it's right. If it's not convenient for me to do this or that it's not that bad. This is self-justification.

On an encouraging note, God will provide all that we need. He may not provide all that you want. In the example of your mother, God may not have provided enough money to give high end drapes, but He provided enough money to care for her family...however, she chose to do something she wanted - decorate her house. When we struggle to get involved in other people's lives because of our selfishness, we are driven to the cross - we are often called to sacrifice personally in order to humbly follow Christ's call to love Him and others. Jesus was the ultimate example of sacrificing comfort, convenience, companionships, ect in order to help a world of people in need. God will give the strength and wisdom to learn to be like Him. Being willing to care for people despite personal inconvenience reaps dividends we cannot even measure. And these dividends aren't just in the lives of others we care for, they are in our own hearts as well.

The happiest people don't have all that they want; the happiest people want all that they have! My encouragement to you is to not allow the failure and sins of commission of those in your life to keep you from following Christ's call to love Him and others. Don't let the loss you experienced hold you back from letting God's love flow through your life to show care and involvement to others lest you fail someone as you were failed. Overcome evil with good! If you need resources to help you forgive / overcome evil with good, check out this website I have personally found so so helpful: http://r12online.livingontheedge.org/r12online/supernatural/

So, is failure to love, failure to care, failure to be involved... is this selfishness "worse" or "less worse" than another sin? Well, we know this, the Bible clearly says how can you say you love God if you do not love your brother? And to not love God is the highest offense we can make. We need God's mercy and grace to bring us to our knees for help and hope to be like Christ.

God bless you.


answered 18 Feb '10, 14:22

jac's gravatar image


edited 18 Feb '10, 14:31

It sounds like your mother and father did what was best for them and what they wanted to do and that they did not take in consideration to the basic wants and needs of a child. Some parents grow up without love in their family and childhood and therefore don't know how to give love to their own children for the lack of it themselves. The personality and character of some people are not right and just because they became parents don't make them have a better character and personality sometimes.

If you haven't already forgiven your parents you must not necessary for their sake but for your sake for the hurt, anger, and resentment will eat you up inside. So forgive for your own sake if you have not done this already and Jesus will help you do this it is not easy to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply either by physical or emotional hurt and pain.

Most parents go without for the sake of the children which some of the time goes unnoticed or unappreciated by the children when they get grown. But a few parents do for themselves and do a little for the children.

If your parents are still alive you may want too ask them why did they do that to you and you may get a answer and you may not. Sometimes people do things and they don't even analyzed what they are doing and why so they may not even realize what they really did and why. Some people are for self and self only. Take all of your troubles and sorrows to Jesus and he will if you ask heal those for you in time if you trust him and believe in him and his holy powers that he will do this for you.

Hoping you become spiritually, physically and emotionally whole again through the powers of Jesus Christ who loves you dearly and he and his angels will heal all of you if you ask and believe he will. He said ask anything in my name and I will do it. Don't doubt which sometimes I do not that he has the power but whether he will choose to do this for me but he said don't doubt just believe and I am getting too that point God and Jesus are so loving and forgiving to the whole human race we must be at peace through the power of Jesus help.


answered 18 Jan '10, 01:38

flowingwater's gravatar image


edited 18 Jan '10, 01:44

Apparently, your mother felt that it was more important to have special made drapes, than to dress you up in more appropriate attire. In general, people have different beliefs, and values, and what might be important to you may not be important to them etc. And believe me: your situation is not unique.

It is very common for some parents to over look their children needs, because most parents believes that they know what is best for their children. Sometimes it is done with the best of intentions, even if it does not appear so.

Did you ever tried to tell your parents how you were feeling, and did you ever ask them why they did what they did to you? Maybe your parents did not know what they were doing to you was wrong, maybe that is the morals, and values that they were brought up with by their parents, and did not think they were doing you any wrong.

If you were too afraid to confront your parents, then, they probably did not know they were hurting your feelings etc. But for whatever it will cost you, you should take the time to tell your parents about the pain you have been carrying around. In all sincerity, I think your parents would welcome your honesty, and you would have disclosure. You can forgive your parents, and your parents can forgive you, and all will be well!

Jesus in his last hours on the cross: said forgive them father, for they know not what they do! Also the Bible teaches: how many times should you forgive your brother, seventy times seven. So forgive, and forget, and move on with your life with love in your heart for your mother, and father. I am sure they both loved you in their own way. Judgment comes from God, not man, so take your troubles to the foot of the cross, and leave them there. God will judge us according to the work we do!


answered 20 Jan '10, 08:33

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