Please help me! I don't know very good the english but i hope that you'll understand my problem. 20 years ago i had a relationship and i was very in love with him. I feeled happy, strong, dynamic...

But suddenly, one day he called me on the phone and he said to me that he wants to broke our relationship. So simply!! without explainations. I feeled dead!very unhappy! But i was obliged to continue my life. I never be in love with someone else. I make a family, i have two children and all this time i thought to him.

One month now i receive a phone call, after 20 years, from him. he wants to see me, he asked me sorry for his selfish attitude, he has a guilty conscience.

I still love him very much, i want him back in my life but i don't want to dissolve my family!!

asked 02 Feb '10, 09:43

Calliopi's gravatar image


edited 02 Jan '12, 07:02

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

I would pray to God and ask him to help you answer these questions and help you to decide what would be best for you? I would not rush into anything I would try to step out of the situation as if you were someone else and see than what I would tell that person to do. Think and pray and you will come to the right decision I hope for your sake. Take care and I hope your decision will work out right for you.

(04 Feb '10, 12:11) flowingwater
showing 0 of 1 show 1 more comments

I think no one can answer this for you; only you know what is best for you, and your family.But may I suggest some questions to ask yourself? Why did this person leave you alone for 20 years? He knew you were in pain, yet did nothing to help you, didn't reach out to you.Would being with him alienate you from your family? If so, are you prepared for the heartache of that? And would you be alienated from his as well? Could you each live with that? Is it possible he's a different person after 20 years? That you are? You have a real dilemma here! Best wishes to you as you make important decisions.


answered 02 Feb '10, 16:45

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

edited 02 Jan '12, 07:04

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

You must really think about this one for your heart is still hurting and you need to decide if you got with this person would it be better for you this time, does he love you, why should you take him back, what are the problems that will arise if you do take him back, if he leaves you again could you take it again, I am sorry but you have some seriious questions to ask your self. Only you can answer this for you. You are older and hopefully wiser now and you are thinking with your heart but what is your brains telling you? You have made a life maybe with someone eles. What do you want to do?


answered 04 Feb '10, 12:07

flowingwater's gravatar image


edited 02 Jan '12, 07:04

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

are you also saying that your current family
does not provide for what it is you expect from life.
there is character in keeping a committment,
but it does help to discuss your needs with your partner


answered 02 Jan '12, 09:49

fred's gravatar image


what was the reason for the break up 20 years ago? did anny of this change? also you have a family now that is your responsibility and commitement. it does not mean that this person could not be a friend. you are responsible of your choice be wise enuff to make the right decision. experience and enjoy.


answered 02 Jan '12, 15:32

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

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