I've been trying to visualize my ideal guy to bring him into my life. However, latetly thoughts of my ex keep coming into my mind when I'm doing this and I start getting anxious and sad. These feelings linked to my ex are much stronger than the pleasant feelings attached to my thoughts about my ideal guy. I'm not sure how to keep my mind focused on what I want. I've tried to let the thoughts just come and go but more keep popping up. I don't know how to get my mind to focus on what I want. Any thoughts?

asked 11 Feb '10, 13:24

Stacy's gravatar image


edited 23 Aug '12, 16:03

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Stacy, I went through something similar years ago. It will be tedious, but just keep replacing the unwanted thoughts or images with those that are more resourceful and wanted. I promise you can win. Be consistent and persistent!

BTW--I divorced my way out of a bad marriage and later married a wonderful man who has all the traits I had wanted, and we are very happy.

You have to visualize yourself as happy, getting affection....being in all of the situations you want to be in, doing the things you want to do. Really feel the happiness! Do that daily and change will happen!


answered 11 Feb '10, 13:50

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

Dear Stacy,

Although for some reason I have never had this problem with an ex, there are other areas of my life where this sort of thinking has been a problem, so I think I can relate.

I see that you are new to Inward Quest. You might want to try some of the special exercises on this site which will address head-on and clear these negative thought patterns / tendencies:




A lot of people on this site also recommend EFT, "Emotional Freedom Technique." I know it works for me. If you do a search on this site for EFT, you will find a lot of questions and answers pertaining to it, such as this one:


Also, there are a lot of great free EFT videos on Youtube which will lead you through the process.

Congratulations...by just finding this site, you have embarked on the path to finally getting what you want. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you will reach it.


answered 26 Aug '12, 12:55

lozenge123's gravatar image


edited 26 Aug '12, 12:56

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