Breaking up has been a dark, dark miserable experience for me. I feel as if the universe has played a cruel joke on me, it's like, "here's your key to get out of jail......Oh, but we're not gonna give it to you..." :(
I'm just in the process of dusting myself off and moving on again, but still I would just like to ask for some tips from people who have had personal life experience:
In male/female relationship, how do you finally 'let go' of someone? I still want a certain someone in my life, and I know a rule for LOA is that you cannot force another person to do someone against their will. I've been told by a psychic that this will be the first, and final, heart break in my life, and I will meet a new girl before my birthday that will become my life-long ever after, happily married wife and we will "become blissed and deeply happy with each other."
The issue is, I cannot plant a seed successfully in a place where lightning keeps striking at it, so to speak...How can I let go of this someone?
Just a thankyou to all the inward quest users who personally and authentically empathise with me, it means a lot. Feeling quite lonely at the moment, inward quest is my only sort of communication :) xxx
Hello Nikulas, in the short-term there are many things you can do to take your mind off of a relationship that’s just ended. And what you’ve already decided to do, if that feels right to you is the best thing for you to do, including participating on IQ.
I’m sure you realize that the fact that your lover entered your life in an intimate way and has since exited it, at least in that particular manner; shows you that there was something in that relationship that you either wanted or needed to learn from it. You were drawn together and you were pulled apart because of your own conscious or hidden asking. Now it’s simply time to 'get over it' and move on...
Previously, you’ve expressed a desire for true love in your questions on IQ. And that desire is one of the most worthwhile things for anyone who wants it to attain. In order for that experience to be realized as your reality and to last, there are certain things that may be helpful for you to think about.
If your desire is to attract the reciprocal love of another, then first you must truly love yourself. Realize that the love that you feel when interacting with another is not their love, it’s your love; the love that’s contained within each human being. Think about it, everything happens within our own mind; outside is merely a concept that we create for learning (remembering) through the experiencing of it.
And while you may believe that the love you seek will come from someone else at some nebulous future time; realize that ultimately, there is only here and now. Knowing this tells you that love can only be found in the here and now and that it always exists within you; because you are that love.
And, perhaps paradoxically, once you truly love yourself you’ll attract another who truly loves themselves as well, but remember that you are the key which opens the doorway to reciprocal love.
Remember also, that a true relationship with another human being is one which doesn’t contain the ideas of attachment and control. Due to the fear of losing a lover, many games of control are played out and the reason for these can all be summed up in one word, attachment.
The idea, thus, then is to realize that attachment in any form doesn’t fit in a world of impermanence, a world of continual change. Attachment leads to control and control leads to compromise, unhappiness, pain and suffering. Not being attached means not suffering.
So the ideal is to be related (you are anyway), but not attached. And once you’re really in touch with yourself, with the love that you are, attachment in any form is never necessary and so it’s no longer an issue.
Realize that your recent romantic relationship had something to offer, but it’s probably over now. That’s not to deny the possibility of reconciliation, but it is responding to what’s before you in this moment.
Love yourself even more...
Understand the importance of knowing what attachment is. It’s not non-attachment.
Relax and enjoy your life, whilst allowing your desire to come to you in perfect timing ♥
answered 22 Jan '12, 00:48
I do empathise and as blubird mentioned, few of us have not been though it at least once!
My suggestion? The way to let go is to stay in the vortex and be busy making yourself happy. That is the goal, because not only does it help you to move forward in a pleasant manner, but it makes you more attractive to others. And if there is any chance of the relationship being re-kindled, it is more likely to do so if you seem happy and balanced rather than hurt.
Find yourself again. See the movies you like to see. Listen to the music you most enjoy. See friends. Re-arrange your living space in a nice manner. Read what you like to read. Enjoy nature. Be out there; it's for the best on all fronts!
answered 21 Jan '12, 11:59
EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique in an excellent tool to eliminate negative emotions, obsessive thoughts, fears, limiting beliefs etc... There are many sites where you can learn it. This has been the single most helpful tool I have ever used to feel better. FasterEFT.com is also very useful in the moment.
answered 21 Jan '12, 09:26
Yes Nikulas, it's a painful feeling that we all go through at some point in our lives ... it feels like someone has died ... mourning is a natural process and is an essential part of spiritual growth , i would suggest that we should just live through it, gradually we accept the situation and come out stronger and wiser ... go about life as usual and soon the "vortex" brings new and exciting opportunities ...
answered 21 Jan '12, 09:42
I always have a hobby. The best hobbies are ones you can do with your hommies. Don't invite her to say go trap shooting. Tell her it's a guy thing. That not totally true but mostly male dominated. Have more than one hobby if possible. Have a couple of other girls you talk to. Never know you become available. Set her free, forget about getting back together. That on and off thing is too much of an emotional meat grinder. You may be hurt even more if it happens again. Hope this helps.
answered 21 Jan '12, 16:59
Dearest Nikulas, Wish that I could take away your pain. Ever hear that song "The first cut is the deepest". Yes it is true for loosing your first love is the most painful experiance you will go through. It is a process that can't be hurried and yes it definately is mourning for it is as painful as losing someone to death.
You will be happy again Nik of that there is no doubt and yes time is the healer when it comes to heartbreak. It is a proces that will take some time but once you are over it you will be wiser and better able to deal with the romantic side of life.
The majority of us go through this a number of times in our lifetime and we learn how to handle heartbrake as best we can as we grow in wisdom. Dont allow this no matter how painful to stop you from loving again. Look forward to new love and yes there will be new love but first you must heal properly so as not to project the pain onto your new relationship.
Go out with your friends as much as you posibly can and yes it is a good idea to have hobies to keep you bussy but the best way is to live in the moment and give all your attention and focus to the task at hand. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. This saying is true and somewhere down the line of your life you will realise that you can look back on this time and see a naive young man who will still be a part of you but without the pain and a lot more wisdom.
You will smile and laugh and be happy again Nik just give yourself some time to recover before moving on to your next big love. Wishing you true love.
answered 22 Jan '12, 01:49
Give yourself time to heal. Here is the rule of painful release. Release pain through all of your sensory glands because all have been affected by the event, release and replace. Release your anger and sadness and replace it with joy and happiness. You are now engaged in an opportunity to be creative. Let your creativity blossom so that others may enjoy your season.
answered 22 Jan '12, 22:33
Letting go to me is to except my failures, and short comings . Then making a clear consious choice to grow from it. Meaning if I fail a school curiculum I will seek a different way to learn the material< THIS example is actually a testimony.Ill explain .As a kid I would bring homework home I struggled in math. My Dad would beat me, because I struggled in math. As a Adult, I hated math, because it took me back as a child with my Dad. Until one day God told me to look at the numbers like sentences.I ALLWAYS excelled in English.So math was no longer a burden for me, because I excepted my failure, short comings. Then I made a clear consious choice to grow from it. This is only a percent "LETTING GO,"There's relationships, addictions, ect...
"How can I let go of this someone?"
You don't have to... time will do it for you... Not the most consoling words from where you are standing right now, but it's the way life works, trust me.
answered 30 Jul '13, 07:52
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