Some people seem to enjoy complaining and seeming negative to me. Just because it makes me feel negative, doesn't mean it makes them feel negative. So for people who enjoy complaining, is that their bliss? Does what seems like negative talk to me actually make them feel good?

asked 11 Apr '12, 11:21

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

edited 21 Apr '12, 02:53

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

fairy princes, they may have their own agenda and if asked they may be willing to share their point of view

(18 Apr '12, 20:40) fred

I think I agree with you Fairy Princess.

Negativity does bring its own sense of comfort. Sometimes (or maybe most of the time) it takes the form self-pity.

It is easy to identify with negative things because it is all around us and easily available through the media.

There was a time when I lived within constant negativity, but not the type where I was negative of others, but rather I was negative towards my own self-worth.

I felt utterly worthless within myself and I just couldn’t find any cause to cheer myself up.

As negative as that was, it was also very comforting to be in it because people felt sorry for me and that attention was addictive.

Therefore, I would often voice my misery in the company of those who cared because I enjoyed the love that I received.

Of-course, I am not that person today; it is who I used to be about 15years ago.

Now I see negativity as something that we should not be afraid of.

A typical reaction of someone trying to be spiritual is to, carefully; guard their core identity against any sign of negativity.

I don't think that is healthy either.

We exist in constant duality, so we have to acknowledge the existence of all desires in humanity.

It is almost like looking at a pendulum that swings between positive and negative.

If I try to arrest its swing by holding it only on the positive side of the balance point, eventually when the imbalance tries to correct itself, it will swing right back into the negative side, just to let me know what it is that I am refusing to acknowledge.

Anybody that complains, I believe, is actually being triggered by their refusal to acknowledge all the goodness that is in the world.

When I was negative, it wasn't because I was completely identifying with negativity, it was because I desperately wanted to be "not negative" and I didn't know how to get there.

Then I went through my stage of being "completely positive".

I guarded my mind against any thought that was negative and immediately looked upon other's negativity as a sign of weakness of spirituality.

To my surprise, I found that there is as much inner tension in being positive as there is in being negative.

They are both un-natural extremes.

Somewhere in-between is a happy balance of acceptance where it is not about "trying to be anything"

Spirituality is a highly "loaded" word that is prized and worn as a badge by the one trying to be "Spiritual"

It is really a silly word that makes us think that we are somehow "special"; and therefore we tend to use this "identity of spirituality" as a qualification to pass judgement upon everyone else.

Sadly, for us, those who we judge are able to easily see beyond our facade of self-importance.

And we are too busy being important, that we are too blind to see this.

So what If somebody wants to complain?

Everyone needs to complain once, in a while.

It's a great therapeutic outlet.

The spirit takes care of us all and I think we are all exactly, where we are meant to be, complaints and all.


answered 11 Apr '12, 20:05

The%20Traveller's gravatar image

The Traveller

edited 11 Apr '12, 21:38

i agree with the inner tension of being positive and negative. if you are negative you have tension made by your ego on you. and if you are positive you have tension made on you by the ego of others. because you do not judge them and they judge you. so it is a silly game of ping pong. once you understand that there is less problem because you know what is what and you do not need to let it affect you. but do not tell someone that is judging that because they do not want to hear it.

(13 Apr '12, 06:06) white tiger

I can’t speak with authority on how doing anything will make anyone else feel. However, a former version of me was in that place of complaining. It was a habit formed by how I saw my world and my beliefs at that time, and being around other negatively focused people – one negative thought leads to another – and agreements about what was wrong abounded in my world – my beliefs were confirmed time and time again…

Until one day - a former girlfriend angrily looked me in the eye and with an ugly contorted face, said:

“Look at me, I am your mirror!”

I fell silent for about two hours as we continued driving along. Something changed in me on that day, and soon afterwards I began practicing the art of appreciation. And that’s how I moved from always complaining to never or very rarely complaining. It’s a simple choice. And having existed in both the negative state of complaining and the positive state of appreciation; I will never return to negativity.

While it may feel good to complain and to justify that action, which is really judgment, it feels so much better to appreciate the actual miracle of all life. It’s an equally valid choice to focus upon all of the good things in life and to appreciate that, instead of focusing upon what’s wrong.


answered 12 Apr '12, 23:37

Eddie's gravatar image


i agree with you on everything you said but what is wrong is part of the reality also and need to get fix. i can ignore the leak in the sink both eventually the house will be full of learning of what is not working we can fix it and progress.

(13 Apr '12, 06:12) white tiger

@Eddie - smooth and beautifully put. If you complain and blame and feel the need to tell someone they are wrong, you are out of tune with your Connection, your Source, your God. Focus on the Beauty, Harmony, Peace, JOY and attract more, better, faster!

(13 Apr '12, 06:15) Dollar Bill

Thanks for also seeing it Dollar Bill :)

(13 Apr '12, 07:21) Eddie

I say this for anyone reading. Please understand that it's impossible to fix anything by focusing on what's wrong, as white tiger believes; that's the old way of thinking. Simply focus on what's right and what's wanted and you'll have more of that.

(13 Apr '12, 07:26) Eddie

@Eddie you keep intriguing me to post new questions!

"focus on what's right and what's wanted and you'll have more of that." Light brings dispels darkness. Being a dark-sucker does not increase Light.

(13 Apr '12, 07:46) Dollar Bill

@Dollar Bill, exactly! And even if you're immersed in a huge black cloud: All clouds eventually lift, revealing the light that's always there, phew :)

(13 Apr '12, 08:03) Eddie

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.

who is driving the ride on both level since the beguinning and to the end? is it not absolute truth?

(13 Apr '12, 19:44) white tiger

also Eddie white tiger does not believes annything. that is from you. Eddie is the one that believes things. white tiger did not say to focus on the wrong. that is what Eddie see in is window of perception.

(18 Apr '12, 01:21) white tiger
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments

Good question Fairy Princess. Lots of people complain because they do not want to see the truth about themselves, and they let their ego control them and they judge others.

But it is never about others it is about themselves, and it goes very deep in them. It is many things not solved in their window of perception. Until they solve their duality, it does not change.

Once they meditate and solve their duality they will not be afraid of the Truth. they will be at peace with themselves and with others.


answered 11 Apr '12, 16:52

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 18 Apr '12, 06:12

Dollar%20Bill's gravatar image

Dollar Bill


Adding to what white tiger said, these are two main reasons that just came to my mind as to why people complain. For one, the act of complaining itself seems to mimic the act of doing something about it. Creating an illusion of resolving the issue they complain about, even they actually don't resolve anything. And for two, you know that sometimes and to some it seems more beneficial to stay with the devil they know, rather than explore the unknown. That's what they are doing, by keeping

(12 Apr '12, 05:09) CalonLan

themselves complaining about the same things over and over, they stay with the devil they know. They are afraid of resolving that which bothers them and moving on, because of their fears. Fears of what if my life gets worse, what if I won't be able to handle the unknown, what if there will be nothing to guide me. In search for false securities instead of opportunities, from fears they have, they bind themselves in chains ever afraid of being free. I know this to be true, not from observing

(12 Apr '12, 05:14) CalonLan

others, but from getting to know myself. Even now, as I'm typing these words I recognize that all of this is not description of someone's else life, but mine. I only see this in others, because I'm afraid to see it in myself. For when I admit I put those chains on me, that I created the prison of my reality and locked myself in it, it makes my eyes teary. And so I understand those people, instead of crying and following their true joy, they turn bitter and negative. There are things Im afraid of

(12 Apr '12, 05:23) CalonLan

too, and although I'm consciously recognizing these fears, to get rid of them seems, due to my lack of understanding of some things, so hard and hopeless at times. And for some strange reason it hits me hardest when listening to beautiful orchestral music. For as someone said, music is what feelings sound like. I hear and feel in that music those marvelous feelings that I suppress. But I know, that one day I will find my way. ;-)

(12 Apr '12, 05:32) CalonLan

@CalonLan - very poignant - "music is what feelings sound like. I hear and feel in that music those marvelous feelings that I suppress. But I know, that one day I will find my way. ;-)"

You have been launching rockets of desire (know that "desire" roots are 'de Sire', meaning "of the Father} that are bearing fruit. God wants to fulfill our desires, as long as we acknowledge Him as being the Source. I love monifestations, because I recognize they come from God and that the "connection" with God is what excites me, not the object(s). This connection is the only thing that is Real, Truth - Permanent! All else is temporary.

Of the Father.

Music allows us to share vibration. This is why songs, hymns are sung in Church. Brings us together.

Music also affects our physical being. When I am dancing, I notice that my heart beats in time with the music. 3/4 for a waltz, for instance. 4/4 for foxtrot. The music structure has an effect whether a Bolero or a Tango. Also the rhythm makes my heart beat faster or slower.

When I play my guitar, I feel the vibrations all over me. I think that you musicians (Hi @Wade Casaldi) can attest to that. I want learn a wind instrument, saxophone, clarinet, recorder maybe a harmonica so I can incorporate breath into sound.

Vibrations are important, sound preceeded light. "God said "Let there be Light." The Logos, the Word.

Though the above seems tangential to the topic, I feel it is something to include.

It seems that 'complainers' feel they bond with misery. I am having to shift universes here, because I don't hear much complaining in my world. Not sure I want to go there, . . . . well, some vestiges remain.

At one time my world included people who felt it appropriate, even necessary, to bond with misery, feeling that misery was their world and people who were miserable were of a common bond and they do not want to hear about others' Joys.

They felt that failure was a way of life and if they shared success, they would make other (failed people) feel badly. Of course their beliefs were strengthened by the Law Of Attraction, as are ALL our belief systems!

Some people still seem to believe that Joy comes from incremental changes, "Two is closer to a million than one." I recognize that we have the power to create worlds. We really do! Everybody has the power and everybody uses it Daily to create our reality whether it be sadness or Joyous.

I am less interested in incremental 'renovation' than 'co-creation' of new, exciting realities. You made your bed and you may have to lie in it for a while, but you don't have to die in it!

We, at Inward Quest may have a different world view. Hopefully we bond through our Joy.

(14 Apr '12, 07:11) Dollar Bill

@Dollar Bill, please do not use answers as a way of making commments to other answers. Use the comments instead. I'm converting this answer into a comment.

(20 Apr '12, 14:28) Barry Allen ♦♦

@Barry Allen - will do.

(21 Apr '12, 04:44) Dollar Bill
showing 3 of 7 show 4 more comments

The complaining or if you just want to say negativity may be a learned thing. If this is the case there is no blame. There is no blame anyway. I believe that I learned this from friends parents and environment. Things are learned some good some stupid like prejudice. I am still practicing on being happy etc. I have more pleasantness in my life and more possibilities now. I'm not good when things don't go well but I have improved. I'm sure with practice I will gain much more power by not noticing the so called negative.


answered 11 Apr '12, 21:18

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