I know that "wrong people" may not be the best description, but my question has to do with people in my life that do not seem to live up to my initial expectations. It looks good in the beginning, but turns out poorly -- though I have kept up my end of the relationship, they did not.


asked 28 May '12, 08:59

Dollar%20Bill's gravatar image

Dollar Bill

From expectations and awaiting of certain results is where suffering and disappointment arise.

Abraham Hicks said -

if you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask no one to be different so that you can feel good. You would free yourself of all of that cumbersome impossibility of needing to control the world, or control your mate, or control your child. You are the only one who creates your reality. For no one else can think for you, no one else can do it. It is only you, every bit of it you


answered 29 May '12, 05:30

CalonLan's gravatar image



Love Abraham.

(30 May '12, 00:41) Paulina 1

Hi Dollar Bill, I read your questions few minutes back and felt the intuitive desire to answer this. I am not sure what I am going to answer, but I will let it flow...

I have been asking same question to myself since years since I have not been able to be in a stable relationship since a long time. Also, I am a Taurean and I have read that Taureans tend to test the relationships from time to time and yes - I have been observing myself do that too!

But, as far as I have learned, each and every person that I have attracted in my life has help me move to a higher level of understanding about life and other basic truths that we discuss here on IQ. I am deeply thankful to each and every person that has made me happy, hurt me, left me alone, helped me move ahead and lots more. I can realize at this moment that they were just the medium through which I was supposed to learn something. A new chapter - a new lesson!

I am sure you will say this some day too. It is rising above the problem that can get you a solution - read that Einstein says this. So, I would suggest is try looking at the experiences from a different perspective and you will really enjoy. Rise above and watch, observe, learn and unlearn - just have fun! That is life is all about...


answered 29 May '12, 05:36

Perfection's gravatar image


you attract those you have
an affinity towards,
of similar ray and light

it is not just a mind thing
and if self is unknown
what returns may surprise


answered 29 May '12, 05:41

fred's gravatar image


Short and sweet.

(30 May '12, 00:36) Paulina 1

This is a tricky subject because there are so many variables that can be at work here. Since these people are a perfect match to your radiated frequency, and you like these people in the beginning, that can show you where your level of frequency is at in general. Not too bad if you like what you attract. The negative towards we end up having towards them is totally our own doing, not theirs, and that's where the variables become so hard to pinpoint. I have repeated this same scenario many times. Keep in mind that we are the only ones viewing the others and it is us changing our perceptions of them. It can be an expectations placed upon them, experiences you are wanting and so on. However, we have the subconscious mind and habitual patterns that can get in the mix of things. Be careful that you are not subconsciously addicted to disappointment or not having what you want. It could be that when you get what you want, you sabatoge them in your mind. Why would you sabatoge? Usually comes down to issues with unworthiness deep at the core. Most everyone struggles with this at the core. We are usually not deserving from the subconscious mind so having wonderful people that totally make us feel wonderful is just too good for us, we don't deserve it! Not Truth at all, but the subconscious mind was sort of "programmed" that way for the purpose of separation. Since we are now ascending back out of separation we can all start loving ourselves more and letting ourselves see things from joy and happiness more and more!


answered 29 May '12, 11:40

Sherry's gravatar image


@Sherry, thanks for the great insight:) I think you might have something substantial here in terms of sabotaging the outcome. How would one overcome this if its unworthiness deep within our core? What has your experience been dealing with it? If you can elaborate on it a bit, it may guide many people including mui:)

(29 May '12, 12:22) Xoomaville

Yes, I think one of the most important things is to find the unworthiness we hold and change it. I am assuming it is a self sabatoge and unworthiness issue for you as well. Since the subconscious mind is hidden from the conscious mind I started with an exercise that allowed me to see some of my unworthiness which then changed everything for me. I call this exercise "Me First" and at first it made me feel selfish and extremely uncomfortable because it went very much against my habit of reinforcing my unworthiness by putting everyone else first. The exercise: Every time you make a choice of any kind, make a point to deliberately think about what YOU really want with no reguard to another. When we put someone else first, or we don't speak our truth or say "No" because we don't want to hurt someone else's feelings or we want to hide how we really feel inside, or we do what someone else wants rather than what we really want, think about what we are saying to our 'Self". We are directly telling our "Self" that the other person is more important or worthy than we are. Is that True? NO! The beauty of this is that the recognition of just how unkind you have been to yourself is all that's needed. Then start developing the habit of putting yourself first which will feed your worthiness. Sometimes there is a short spurt of brattiness that takes place where we tend to get a little high on ourselves with the self indulgence because it feels so great and is so empowering, but that will subside as worthiness gets into balance.
Don't misunderstand, it's okay to go along with someone else as long as you truely feel good to do it and you're not holding back. and if you do go ahead and hold your tounge or do something you really don't want to do, just acknowledge in your mind that you are aware that that's what you are doing, perhaps even apologize to your Self along the way for not putting it first this time. That is the best thing I know of to bring attention to the unworthiness at the core so we can look at it and to begin to change it. Hope this helps.


answered 29 May '12, 21:54

Sherry's gravatar image


edited 30 May '12, 02:09

Great answer and no it is not selfish to be oneself.

(30 May '12, 00:46) Paulina 1

@Sherry, How did I miss this? You are so right, and I really needed this. Thank you.

(18 Jun '12, 18:04) Grace

We all have this experience.....people come and people go. You look around, in this moment, and the quality of people is questionable?? When this time last year it was a different quality of people??

Here's a video clip of Bashar explaining why.....



answered 29 May '12, 18:57

Eldavo's gravatar image


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