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This is not a question I ask, but Grace asked this question in one of other questions and because I have recently thought about similar concept, I decided to make it a question rather than a reply in comments, so that more people can join in discussion :)

Sometimes, in our lives, we are in a situation where negativity dominates positivity. And despite our efforts to turn it around we seem to be unsuccessful. It's said that we try to move away from pain towards the pleasure.

So how to do it? How to transform one's life from negative to positive?

// following is my own theory and while I believe it to be true, I don't recognize it as the universal or the only one truth for everyone //

Buddhist say "where mind goes, body follows", but have you ever wondered what does mind follow? Who's the leader of the mind? If you apply self-awareness, mind can guide itself, but it can also get guided by external environment if you let it. And that is why I believe, Napoleon Hill (as one of many), suggested affirmations and auto-suggestions. Because nobody, to my belief, is capable of holding a single thought in his mind forever, or being self-aware 24/7, 7 days a week. There's always gonna be thoughts that are suggested by external environment. That is also why you can create "illusory" environment around yourself of already being wherever you want to be and it can help you hold the thoughts that equal vibrations of already being at that place.

So we use both internal and external sources to guide our minds. If you were overweight and wanted to shed some pounds, the best way to do it is to surround yourself NOT with other overweight people who wants to lose fat too, but WITH skinny people! With pictures of skinny people. (Just a side note, I also believe that alcoholic would recover from alcoholism faster when being in group of people who do not drink, than going to AA meetings.) If you are in group of overweight people, a contradiction is created. You look at picture of skinny person, and mind goes "yea I'm gonna look like this"...then you take your eyes away from it, look around and see fat people and your mind goes "oh no this is depressing me". Then you try to hold positive thoughts, trying to ignore the negative environment your eyes see and your mind goes "we can make it".

So what do we do, if we can't keep positive thoughts all the time?

I heard that one should not fight negativity within them. That they should observe it. But contrary to this opinion, I believe that negativity is very powerful, and I am inclined to say that it's more powerful than positivity - individually speaking. In a group positivity becomes a greater force because it multiplies since it is so contagious. Instead of being a mere observer of it, we should direct the negativity and make use of it. (remember we are speaking of negativity from individual stand-point. That is negativity and positivity as such are directly derived and define from the reality of the person that feels them). You can use your anger for your love. Your current suffering is far greater motivational force than the pleasure you are trying to reach.

Let see this in a picture. Imagine you feel stuck in the rut and want to reach the mountain's top. But because your reality is so negative, any attempt solely on positivity of mountain's top will hardly get you moving. In fact you are not even in the reach of that positive motivating force. So You have to work with what you got. Negative side is your friend, just as positive is. They were never enemies of each other.


If you use negativity to your advantage, the effect of moving forward will be massive. Real life speaking (lets stay with scenario of being obese for better continuity) - if you you want to change your look from fat to skinny, not only should you love idea of being skinny, but you must also hate idea of being fat. Love and Hate go hand in hand - they are just different degrees of the same thing, remember?

In other words, as much you hate being overweight equally that much you will love being skinny. If you think that being overweight is "not that bad"... you will never attempt to change.

The point is not being afraid of negativity or hating it. The more you love, the more you are able to hate. Yin Yang would never expand unevenly, but both sides will always expand equally, even if you let yourself be concerned with just one.

Use the power of both for your dreams.

So Grace, it is my belief that you should not be concerned about your inability to keep positive thoughts longer than negative ones. Look at the picture, as you move towards the mountain's top, positivity will overtake your thoughts slowly. What you should be concerned about is directing your negativity to help you move towards mountain's top instead rock bottom.

How you do it, is dependent on what are you trying to achieve. To give you an example, I'm a skinny guy and I would want to bulk up a great amount of mass. I use "hate" towards my current situation to push through fears and instilled ill habits. To even literally push and pull iron at gym with more rage creating far greater growth effect of my muscles than I would if I only imagined the positive - already there muscle guy. Because I have no idea of knowing what it is like to be like that, I just know everyone who done the transformation from skinny to heavy is telling me - it's amazing and they'd never go back. So I have to push through using negative force, till I get to the point where I gain enough muscle I will see and feel the ever growing benefits of that new lifestyle in that new body, and consequently with a new mind.

Directed hate used for greater love becomes constructive force. Because it does not drain your spirit, it empowers it instead with its energy. (If you have seen movie Titan A.E. - you know what I mean)

The question each individual should ask themselves then is - how do I transform my negativity from destructive into constructive force?

And now, let me invite you to discuss all of this :)

asked 15 Jun '12, 05:03

CalonLan's gravatar image


edited 17 Jun '12, 12:42

Dollar%20Bill's gravatar image

Dollar Bill

This is a very good point. It reminds me of my question I had asked a while back about using fear for positive results.

I remember reading I believe it was in "Secret of the ages." That dissatisfaction is very important, it is the driving force that motivates us to change.

We may fear taking that step but until we get so dissatisfied with where we are we will never take that step. However once we do become that dissatisfied that we just can't stand it anymore anything would be better than this! That is the tipping point that crumbles the fear and we do take that next step.

A lot are stuck in a bad situation because it may be lousy but at least it is known so it is not scary. They do not want to step out of that "comfort zone" if you could call it that. Sort of like it may be lousy but at least it is my lousy.

Until that can get to that point where they can honestly say I have hit the bottom I hate this I am making a change now! They will still be stuck saying I hate this but not enough to change it. They may even feel they have no choice or can't change it but even when you feel hopeless and you can't change it. Even when you feel depressed that life just sucks if you do not hit that point of being so dissatisfied that you say I am going to change this! I don't know how but I am sure not staying in this, this totally sucks, I am making a change right now because I can't stand this any more!

Unfortunately that point for some they feel is suicide but that is never the answer. It must be observed that the situation presently in is just one scenario of many possibilities. It must never been seen as the end of the road, dead end wrong turn. That can be very hard I know that but we must keep that option open. Then we know we can change even taking a leap into the unknown blindfolded when we say I have had it I am making a move, anything would be better than this!

Being satisfied gives us no motivation for change because why change what we are satisfied with?


answered 17 Jun '12, 14:24

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi


@Wade Casaldi, very good point that no matter what the situation is, it should be observed as one of many possibilities, not the end.

Also it makes me wonder, instead of seeing happiness as opposite of dissatisfaction, could we be happy about it ? Being happy about one's own unhappiness would create a paradox of happiness. I'm tempted to say it would be a perfect mind set if one believes he's here to experience things, since every trouble would be seen as opportunity to progress and evolution.

(18 Jun '12, 02:45) CalonLan

I also believe it's stagnation that causes people to create all the drama in the world. From a real life experience I know the less interest one takes in his own progress the more is he tempted to fill his life with all the "empty" talks/thoughts/activities about others that create illusion of progress. But I guess it's also related to fear of taking responsibility for one's life into his own hands. Nobody can relate to someone else walking a mile as much as one can relate to walking it himself.

(18 Jun '12, 03:00) CalonLan

What I was saying is I think the negative and positive work together to propel us forwards. The problem is we can become stuck in one or the other extreme and stagnate.

Example there is positive and negative pressure in the pistons of a steam engine. The steam builds up and shoots the piston forwards while the old spent steam is released out the other side and creates a vacuum. This constant negative to positive/positive to negative it what makes the wheels turn to propel the train forwards.

(18 Jun '12, 12:38) Wade Casaldi

This is the same for AC current, Positive to Negative/Negative to Positive to power everything we use.

So it makes sense to be the same for people as well. Balance.

(18 Jun '12, 12:38) Wade Casaldi

@CalonLan thanks for best answer, I am glad to help and it helps me as well see things I hadn't thought about. :-)

(17 Jan '13, 17:15) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi, @CalonLan - This all seems like it happened years ago. You both have helped me so much. Thank you again. :)

(17 Jan '13, 19:33) Grace

@Grace You are very welcome Grace, I am always glad to help. :-)

(17 Jan '13, 20:52) Wade Casaldi

@Grace, more like another lifetime, or someone else. If there wouldn't be record of questions I asked, I would not remember any. Increasingly forgetting everything every day.

(18 Jan '13, 02:31) CalonLan
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments

@CalonLan "how to transform negative to positive?" and "how do I transform my negativity from destructive into constructive force?" ... take away the learned labels "negative" "positive" and I have a raw constructive force, I raise my vibrations and it's all go go go

here's an article you may enjoy;

"Cassandra Sturdy, Conscious Living Editor

Would you like to have a stronger connection to spirit, more positive thoughts, better emotional states and improved physical health? If so, then you need to raise your vibration.

Your 'vibration' is a fancy way of describing your overall state of being. Everything in the universe is made up of energy vibrating at different frequencies. Even things that look solid are made up of vibrational energy fields at the quantum level. This includes you.

Indeed. From a metaphysical perspective, you're a 'being' composed of several different levels of energy: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Each of these levels have a vibrational frequency, which combine to create your overall vibration of being.

When it comes to vibrations, there are higher frequencies and lower frequencies. This is true for vibrations of being too. Lower vibrations of being are associated with disempowering thoughts, negative emotions, poor health and little or no spiritual awareness. A human being of an extremely low vibration would be someone like Hitler. Higher vibrations of being, on the other hand, are associated with empowering thoughts, positive emotions, good health and strong spiritual awareness. A human being of an extremely high vibration would be someone like the Dalai Lama.

What's more, is that like attracts like. The lower your vibration of being is, the more likely you are to attract circumstances to you that mirror this. Frustrating situations... difficult people... that sort of thing.

So what you want to do then, is raise your vibration. You'll then start to attract more positive experiences, enjoy better health, experience more positive emotional states, think nicer thoughts and obtain a stronger sense of spiritual connection. This will all have a positive knock-on effect and it's up the awakening ladder you go."

Notice that it's a question of vibrational frequency rather than "negative" or "positive" which are just associated labels, it's all the same raw energy. I like to compare it with notes of music, each note has a distinctive signature by which it can be recognzed, and music is neither positive nor negative it just "is", it's the person listening to the music that "judges" and "labels" it "good" "bad" "negative" "positive" :)


answered 13 Jul '15, 01:07

jaz's gravatar image


edited 13 Jul '15, 01:19

My initial response is to replace any negativity, anger, and rage, with appreciation, mindfullness, and hope.

Negativity, anger, and rage will add up to sadness for me. It isn't so much that I hide it or run from it, it is that I don't encourage it, and do not want to allow - essentially welcome - negativity to have a comfortable place in my life. I have seen so many who do, and I know it is not how I want to spend my life.

Rather than allow hate to push me, I encourage love to pull me, more gently, towards my desires. Is this perhaps a difference of masculine and feminine energies? I really don't know, that just occurred to me.

All that being said, I know there is an essential truth in what you have written. The only way we can know what we do want, is by knowing what we do not want. Is is the launching pad for all our desires. I can also see that negative enery is nevertheless energy, that it is perfectly natural.

So, negativity is constantly slipping back into my thoughts and feelings unbidden, sometimes all unawares. But why should that be? Why would my default position have to be negative, when I, the captain of this ship, have chosen its opposite?

I think, what I really want to know, is how do you balance it? How do use negative energy as a tool, but not allow it to take up permenant residence in your life?


answered 18 Jun '12, 11:54

Grace's gravatar image


edited 19 Jun '12, 11:20


@Grace, your demons, anger and fears will haunt you as long as you don't look them in the face. Get to know them, why they came and why are they after you. Then you will understand how to uproot them from your live.

Name them and straightforwardly call them out loud.

I used to have a lot of negativity within me subconsciously, until I have addressed it, it was always disturbing my conscious thought process.

(20 Jun '12, 04:34) CalonLan

Thank you, CalonLan. I think I have a lot of work to do.

(20 Jun '12, 12:01) Grace
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