I hear this every day, people tell me this all the time.

"Give it time, it's going to get better."

How do you suppose that? It has never been good. I sit here and I read information about law of attraction and vibrations and Abraham hicks and the secret. I listen to Oprah and read stories here. But I don't understand.

I want to live a good life. I currently live in a terrible apartment. I stay there because I can afford it. But it's gross, it's in a dangerous neighborhood, and everything's broken. Landlord is lazy, doesn't care.

I work a dead end job. I get talked down to everyday.

I know that I'm being negative. But I don't know how to be positive. I hate life, I really do. Why should I continue living it? I really don't see hope for me. I'm always alone. I have major social anxieties. I can barely say hi to anyone without freaking out.... I'm ashamed and I've lost friends because they don't understand. I don't know why I can't just be comfortable. I've had sex twice in my entire life, and I think in comparison to my age I should have at least been in a committed relationship at least once, but that's never happened. People just don't like me.

I have no self confidence. I look in the mirror and I'm disgusted by what I see. I look ugly. Sickly almost.

I'm always broke. I NEVER have money and I can never get ahead. I'll work extra hours, but then the car will break down. I always have two whole weeks out of the month where I'm scraping change for food. And I don't even know how it happens.

My family just acts disappointed in me. I don't even want to be around them.

I don't even want to move. I can't even clean my apartment right now because I have no motivation. I can't find any reasons to be happy. I just want a get out of jail free card.

What do I do? How can I find the motivation to even move? I've sat here for hours. I won't even go get a drink. I feel like I'm going to suffer for the rest of my life.

I know lots of people feel like this. So why do we have to live through it? How does life get better?

I can't make this work. I try and try and it just doesn't work for me.

I just hope someone can help... I don't know what to do :(

asked 17 Sep '12, 22:37

mchalemen's gravatar image


edited 18 Sep '12, 02:39

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦


Thank you everyone for being so kind and helpful. I have been reading through a lot of the links you posted and read more of the site. It has been helpful. I am trying to be more positive.

It was extremely helpful to get some of this off my chest. I was nervous and self concious about this question so I did not return immediately to read your responses. But you are all so supportive and understanding.

Thank you everyone, again, you have inspired me. I will push forward. I do not know what is in store for me, but I hope it's great things.


(23 Sep '12, 00:08) mchalemen

you are seing the negative things why not try to see the positive things? yes sure all the people around you are in darkness,why do you hate the darkness? will you do the same? or will you be the light that you can be?for your self and anny other that want to be light and that travels with you?will you not try to help people around you? what will you learn from that experience?

(23 Sep '12, 00:31) white tiger

@mchalemen - Glad to hear that you are feeling better. If you apply the processes in the provided links, I promise you that, just as you hope, great things are in store for you. To quote Obi-Wan Kenobi (and in all seriousness), "You have taken your first step into a larger world." Congrats.

(23 Sep '12, 22:18) lozenge123

@mchalemen - Good to hear! I'm glad you decided to post your question, believe me, I know how you feel. This is a very caring community, and all are interested in the expansion you are experiencing right now. Keep asking! You landed in the right place. It will get better and better.

(24 Sep '12, 16:08) Grace
showing 0 of 4 show 4 more comments

@mchalemen - Welcome to IQ.

Things have changed so much for me since I started meditating, it is the first thing I think of when I see someone having a difficult time, as you are. I recognize all you have written; I have been there, too.

The thing is, I believe that your natural condition, the condition that you are born to, is that of good health and happiness, abundance, creativity, and fun. I really do. The difference between where you are, and where it is perfectly natural for you to be, is that there is stuff slowing down the natural flow, like clogged drain; resistance. Resistance is made up of beliefs that you have that keep all the good things in life from flowing freely to you and through you, so its those beliefs that need to change to get things moving in the right direction. Read our @Stingray's answer here. That will show you what can happen when you get that clogged drain cleared up!

How you get those beliefs changed is up to you. If you search for questions here tagged "belief-change", you will find a treasure trove of methods, stories, and ideas. There are many ways to go about it, pick one or two that resonate with you. This is one from my own favorites list. There is a lot of great information on that thread.

Back to the meditation. When you meditate, even for a few minutes, you clear a little space for that true you to have its way. That condition of happiness and freeflowing ideas and energy, positive circumstances and outcomes. It's about clearing the path. Meditation does that, these Abraham Hicks Getting Into the Vortex guided meditations do this for me, and it's the easiest thing there is:

General Well Being

Financial Well Being

Physical Well Being


You just breathe, and let your subconscious mind start to pick up the good messages. Things start getting better for you before you know it. Just do one of them for 15 minutes every day. But you really do need to do it every day, it can't work if you don't use it.

Give yourself a break, dare to think some good, happy thoughts. Happy thoughts clear the way through the resistance to bring you what you want, too. In fact, that happy thoughts themselves are where all of the above will lead you; they are both the journey and the destination!

Keep searching this site. Keep on reading. There are answers here.



answered 18 Sep '12, 00:46

Grace's gravatar image


edited 19 Nov '13, 01:35


@grace great answer! thanks for sharing

(18 Sep '12, 01:21) ursixx

You can meditate automatically without knowing how to meditate. See www.centerpointe.com

(18 Sep '12, 05:33) SR7

@ursixx, that was sweet. Thank you. ;)

(18 Sep '12, 10:02) Grace

@SR7 - Thanks! I'll check it out.

(18 Sep '12, 10:02) Grace

@Grace, great advice and well said!

(18 Sep '12, 16:21) lozenge123

@lozenge123 - Thank you. I thought your answer was good too! You are so encouraging. I'm so glad when I see people come here for help, aren't you? I honestly believe there are answers to just about everything in life on this site. Anyone who finds it is just soooo fortunate, if they will only stay here, and take it all in. :)

(18 Sep '12, 17:21) Grace

@Grace - Thanks for the kind comments, and same to you! Yes, it is encouraging that they find themselves here. Hopefully they will partake of the knowledge. :)

(19 Sep '12, 13:13) lozenge123
showing 2 of 7 show 5 more comments


Congratulations...you have come to the right place. Some way or another, the Universe has led you to InwardQuest, and you can now get the techniques, methods, and feedback that will give you the power to pull yourself out of what must feel like quite a rut.

Have no fear, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and if you are willing to take the time to apply the techniques on this site, then you will reach that light.

One thing I quickly learned here is that while the vast majority of people think they feel bad due to the negative conditions in their life, it is actually the other way around. We manifest the negative stuff in our life due to how badly we think and feel. And conversely, we manifest the good stuff in our life due to how positive we think and feel. That's the good news...by changing how you think and feel, you can change the physical conditions in your life.

I know what you're probably thinking: "Yeah, right."

To that, all I can say is, try the exercises and techniques on this site and you will see a dramatic improvement in your life conditions--definitely within weeks, and possibly within days.

The key here is, you must apply them.

Now, undoubtedly there will be some kinks along the road, the occasional relapse and struggles. But there are many here who can help you with that when those situations arise. Been though it myself.

What I would do (or I should say what I did when I was in a similar situation), is to try the numerous processes available on this site which will help treat the problem directly. Basically, use anything and everything at your disposal. This could include, but is not limited to, EFT, meditation, vortex mediation CDs, listening to positive music (and anything else that will put you "in the vortex"), and using Manifesting Experiment #2 and Manifesting Experiment #4. Or, just have a look at the whole Manifesting Guide.

Since you seem to be feeling particularly bad, and feel that you're in a particular rut, I would try some meditation, which will at least help you reach a sense of relief. If you can, find a meditation teacher (zen, yoga, whatever works, etc.) in your area. If you are broke, try to find a free meditation group, such as those on Meetup.com. If you can't find anything for free either, then there are some good books and online videos that we can recommend here.

I would also highly suggest using Stingray's Focus Blocks method to help you neutralize the bad feelings you are experiencing. Once you move past these negative feelings, good things will begin to flow to you in the physical world.

I would also use Stingray's Manifesting Box method to manifest positive physical conditions in your life. Based on how you are feeling about your life right now, this probably isn't going to help you get the things that you desperately "need" and "want" at present (the link above explains why this is). However, you can use it for little things that you don't care about....a free cup of coffee...traffic issues...an extra $10 in your pocket. When you see that it works--big time--with these little things, you will begin to have faith in the method. That in turn will make you feel more empowered, and soon you'll be able to use it to manifest big things in your life.

As for books which will help empower you, these two are excellent to start with...I think others on this site would agree:

Ask and It is Given, and

The Vibrational Universe

Hope this helps! Feel free to ask any more questions, or specifics, and we'll try to help you out.


answered 18 Sep '12, 14:40

lozenge123's gravatar image


edited 19 Sep '12, 13:18


@lozenge123 - Great answer, lots of helpful links here to some of the best stuff.

(18 Sep '12, 17:22) Grace

My dear, you seem to be suffering from what is called Major Depression. It's not the blues, it's not "having a bad day"- It's a manageable disease.

You need to be evaluated by a competent psychiatrist or psychologist. There have to be clinics where you live that have sliding scale fees- I know all about that; I live on SSI.

You need to get up off your couch or bed, and act now! Call the suicide hotline and ask for referrals to your area's mental health facilities.

All of us here at IQ care, and you have taken a big step by writing.

Now get to it!

Many blessings and Love,



answered 17 Sep '12, 23:05

Jaianniah's gravatar image


one can use up all their not positive reasons
after many successive choices show no gains,
though this may take more time than you seem to have

objective reflection or looking inward,
since no one else makes you choose
though intense pressure may be applied

watch what it is why you do


answered 19 Sep '12, 19:44

fred's gravatar image


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