I am a reserved person. I like to spend time with my friends and do some fun. But as the reason that I am never to speak more than necessary and to listen more than I talk, I am extremely self conscious, I always cared what people thought about me, I am unable to create a funny environment. I am always present with my friends group, but unable to participants with their discussion. So that I am always with them as a invisible person. I want to change my nature. So how could I change myself to a funny and joyful person?

asked 01 May '13, 02:17

Subhasmita's gravatar image


Hello mr. invisible :), yes i agree with Wade, i have the impression that you wish to be more extroverted, so this question is rather "how can i be more extroverted?"

I love lists, so here's a list of how to become more extroverted;

1-get out and about as much as you can and do at least one or two things everyday that you don't normally do

2-be spontaneous, allow yourself to act first then think afterwards ... introverts do the opposite they think first then act

3-experience rather than intellectualize, focus on your five senses, notice what is going on on the outside ... feel and experience rather than examine and analyse how things work

4-take notice of other people and smile at them, be friendly even with strangers

5-chat with people, focus on the first thing you notice, a classic for english people is joking about the weather

6-get people to notice you, keep talking till you get some kind of response

7-everyday speak to at least two people that you've never spoken to before ... unless you live in a desert, there are dozens of opportunities to do this

8-use your energy to talk more than you listen, listening requires mental energy which is introversion, extroverts use their energy for talking, just say it, don't think too much about what the other person is saying, think rather what you're going to say next

9-if the subject of conversation starts to bore you, change the subject

10-learn as you go, allow yourself to let go of the need to think before acting

11-be bold and build up confidence

ciao ciao


answered 01 May '13, 04:19

ru%20bis's gravatar image

ru bis


Thanks ru bis for your valuable advice and guidance. I'll try to implements these.

(01 May '13, 05:00) Subhasmita

pleased you appreciate :)

(01 May '13, 05:02) ru bis

I think you said the answer to why. You are very selfconscious, very reserved.

First let me congratulate you on letting some of that selfconscious go to post this here question!

Knowing what the problem is gives a starting point to work from. You could model yourself after whom you admire that is outspoken. Think of if I were this person how would I act?

Another thing if you want to be the life of the party watch a lot of Rodny Dangerfield, or Don Rickles they are very out spoken take charge life of the party kind of guys.

"Hey... Nice suit. Who shot the couch?" LOL

Think of life not as something to worry what others will think but as a game. You know what others will think because you are the one in charge of what they think!

Like when I just said, "Nice suit... Who shot the couch?" I'll bet you thought of a guy wearing a plaid suit! LOL

That is exactly the thought I wanted you to have.


answered 01 May '13, 03:27

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 01 May '13, 04:01


Thanks Wade for your suitable opinion.

(01 May '13, 04:56) Subhasmita

LOL good pun! See you can do it!

(04 May '13, 02:16) Wade Casaldi

First step you've covered, having the intention.

Otherwise there are many steps here which are extremely useful. The only thing I would add is laugh at yourself. Laugh at your flaws, your funny moments, your jokes, your mess-ups, all of it. If you can't laugh with yourself, why would anyone else laugh with you?

Just laughing in general can be enough to be funny. Ever met someone with an infectious laugh that makes everyone laugh? Sometimes a smile or a laugh is all it takes. ^_^y


answered 01 May '13, 22:52

Snow's gravatar image



@Snow; an answer worthy comment .Agree with you wholeheartedly

(04 May '13, 02:05) ursixx

Thanks for the conversion and the complement. Appreciated.

(05 May '13, 01:48) Snow

I couldn't of said it better myself @Snow -- my sentiments exactly. Good call @ursixx !

(06 May '13, 02:42) ele
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Do not suppress your essence! Let your light shine! You want to smile and laugh and be happy? Then make another person laugh. Laughing is contagious.


answered 01 May '13, 23:40

arpgme's gravatar image


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