When I first learned about the principle of the law of attraction eight years ago, the world suddenly made a lot of sense. It has formed a fundament in my life and it filled a spiritual need in my life. The one thing that always nudges me and rocks my feeling of safety, is that you cannot create for another. And as a mother, no amount of money, job opportunities, body issues, travels or anything else matters if my children are not in a relatively good place.

I basically don't really care wether I can manifest my dream job or not of I don't have any control in what happens to my children. And when I really let this sink in, I feel that all the joy and excitement and safety I feel when I think about LOA in all other aspects is just worthless if my alignment has nothing to say concerning the well-being of the most important people in my life.

I know that you can influence others in a positive way by being an uplifter, but as the children grow older, they spend increasingly more time outside of the home. I am in no way looking to control them, I love their growing independence. I just feel fundamentally unsafe when I think about the fact that the feeling of the safety and joy that I found when I first learned about the LOA wanes off every time I hear Esther say that you cannot create for another. My loved ones ARE my life, so if I cannot positively influence our family life, what good is a new car or an exotic travel or something else one actually can control the manifestations of?

Abraham through Esther repeatedly tells us that if we manage our vibration and spend more and more time in alignment, our lives will get increasingly better (as opposed o the popular belief that life goes downhill from our thirties). They tell us that if you manage to be happy, then all kinds of positive manifestations will appear in our lives. I love the thought of being in control of our futures in this way, and I also love the thought of going through life increasingly fulfilled and happy. These days I am working on not focusing on my problem issues and instead being focused on relaxing and being in appreciation. It feels good so much of the time. And many important areas in my life are pleasing to me. I love that my vortex is full of wonderful things that will manifest when I chill and stay happy. But I just cannot get my head around the fact that the most important things, the things I want more than anything - that the people I love will continue to be safe and happy, are not included in this wonderful vortex, because we cannot create for any other. What's a new car compared to my husband's health? What's my slim body compared to my childrens' health? What's my dream job compared to closest friends safety? Not much, really. I do not seem to fully understand the wonders of LOA and the vortex when the most important aspects of my everyday life can't be included.

asked 21 Jan '17, 12:24

Pebbles's gravatar image


edited 28 Jan '17, 05:49

@Pebbles I wish there were more answers here, I'm really struggling with this lately. Did you end up finding an answer that was satisfying?

(17 Mar '17, 03:31) Bluebell

Hi Bluebell! I appreciate all the answers I got, but I can't say that any of them gave me a satisfying answer to my question. I've been trying to find useful Abraham-Hicks Youtube clips regarding the issue, but almost all the topics there seem to revolve around wanting things for oneself - like money, health, a partner. And that is so much easier to think about, because then it's all about ones own blocking/allowing.

(17 Mar '17, 07:29) Pebbles

Other peoples well being, though, is about their blocking/allowing, and it deeply unsettles me that this aspect of my reality is beyond my control. I really do not care weather I can manifest a new car or not if I cannot manifest health and well being for my children. This really unsettles me and I normally find answers that feel good when I listen to A-H,

(17 Mar '17, 07:30) Pebbles

but this essential topic doesn't seem to be that important to people asking questions when they talk to Esther/A-H. I find it to be very strange. I'm so sorry that I cannot help you, Bluebell, but if I should stumble upon some clarity concerning the topic I will let you know. :)

(17 Mar '17, 07:30) Pebbles

Thanks @Pebbles. I did find an answer that provided me a tiny bit of relief. I'm not sure if it would help you too but I'll leave it here anyway. https://youtu.be/pUhb-VCYMOo

(17 Mar '17, 16:20) Bluebell
showing 0 of 5 show 5 more comments

Dear Pebbles, This issue is easily resolved with some clarification to your understanding of the law of attraction. LOA describes the process by which our thoughts manifest into what we perceive as reality. Thoughts we repeat often enough become our personal beliefs. In effect, You create your own realty and that creation will be affected entirely by your beliefs. Your children will also create a reality based on their beliefs.

Understand that you can, and most certainly will, have a massive effect on the reality your children will create, because you are in a unique position to instill within them wonderfully positive life affecting beliefs. Every moment you spend with your child is an opportunity, a chance to influence their beliefs. For this reason, pay close attention to what you say and how you behave around them because, consciously or unconsciously, they are absorbing and adopting many of their core beliefs from you. Moreover, because you will likely be responsible for any number of the beliefs that will affect the reality they create, you do become, in effect, a co-creator of their reality.

I hope this helps to resolve this issue for you. I realize that you are not the only person affecting the beliefs that your children will adopt. Our beliefs are influenced by just about everyone who crosses our path throughout our lives. As a parent, however, you can try to quietly play the gatekeeper by discouraging any limiting beliefs and encouraging any positive life affirming beliefs. Please comment me if you have any question or need further clarification


answered 23 Jan '17, 03:41

i4cim2b's gravatar image


!14cim2b- What a great answer! Now I see where I have gone wrong. Thank you!

(29 Jan '17, 05:50) Jaianniah

If you are habitually in a happy mood, can guide thoughts and clear resistance, do you really think you'd ever attract a situation where one of your children is in any serious trouble? Would it not go against the Law of Attraction?

On the other hand if you are habitually worried about an imaginary situation which may or may not happen in future, you are much more likely to attract it, or something similar.


answered 21 Jan '17, 13:47

cod2's gravatar image


edited 21 Jan '17, 13:48

My whole point is that we are repeatedly told that you cannot create for someone else - so how could my alignment or worry impact my family members' lives?

(21 Jan '17, 14:22) Pebbles

That's where co-creation comes into play. Leave it to the universe to sort out the details.

(21 Jan '17, 14:37) cod2

And while you cannot create for them, you can quite easily influence them vibrationally.

(21 Jan '17, 14:43) cod2

Would you care to elaborate? :)

(21 Jan '17, 14:55) Pebbles
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

I love this site because questions inspire me with such complex thoughts! When I read your question last week, I thought: let me be away from it, for I cannot really help this person - being a firmer believer that we cannot create reality for others, and having written such answers as state that unequivocally.

However, I thought about it and it matured into the most "advanced" (meaning: pragmatical, paradoxical and ultimately crazy) thought.

I believe parents have the most influence in which we ultimately become.

That said, I believe we cannot create reality to others, as I stated above.

But we create reality to ourselves.

We have been so accustumed to dogma by religious teachings that sometimes we take Abraham's Teachings to the letter without really understanding the meaning of it.

The meaning is: we create our own reality.

That, to me, means that, sometimes, we can go and believe contrary to the teachings. You see, if you can believe whatever you want to believe and that creates your reality, you don't have to believe you cannot create reality for others just because they say so.

Paradoxal, isn't it?

But true to their teachings.

So, all you have to do is to believe you can create reality for your children, no matter what other people say.

Believe that with all your heart, without doubt, and create this reality to you.

You cannot make your children believe that, though, because you cannot create their reality. However, feel free to create yours in the way it most suits you. This is freedom of thought taken to the utmost :)


answered 27 Jan '17, 11:21

VitoriaRegia's gravatar image


edited 27 Jan '17, 11:23

@VitoriaRegia- Great answer! Again!

(29 Jan '17, 05:49) Jaianniah

This answer takes into account prayer, when I say prayer, I mean prayer that the recipient has no idea you are praying for him/her and yet the prayer has effect! By Abraham's teaching that we can not affect others, then we must come to the ridiculous conclusion that who we prayed for coincidentally chose a different reality at the time that just so happened to be after we had prayed. I believe Ho-Oponopono has a more holistic answer, that we create our reality and if you are a part of that, ...

(01 Feb '17, 01:55) Wade Casaldi

then ALL that is in your reality is your creation, much like a dream. You are not only creating yourself in that dream but every single person, every single object, every single situation. That is why prayer works, because in that moment of complete dedication to another to change the situation of the other, you are updating the program and fixing errors in your creation of what you perceive to be existence outside of self and separate from self, but is all self in a much bigger way, God. ALL IS

(01 Feb '17, 02:04) Wade Casaldi

@my husband- wonderful comment, wonderful point. I always did love how your mind works! Love, me!

(01 Feb '17, 03:20) Jaianniah
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

It sounds like you would really like Huna. The teachings on the mechanical level are identical to Abraham's, but there is a lot more emphasis on helping others. Here are my favorite techniques.

The Love Light

The love light is a bright light you surround yourself with in your imagination. You can make it a fog, a haze, a spotlight, a ball of light, or even a glittering liquid or rain or floating specs- whatever you like. You can also color it and give the color a specific meaning. Here's some suggestions that have worked well for a lot of love light imaginers: Green for love, pink for friendship among groups, blue for calmness and confidence, red for heightened energy and sensuality, yellow for more clarity and focus, orange for more presence in your experience. First try it on yourself to get a feel for the shape and color and then you can use it on others from far away or in their presence. I keep mine on 24/7 and shift it when I would like to influence someone in a positive way. It works remarkably well to harmonize relationships.

Note that you are still creating your own reality- the love light is just a bit of a specialized pattern of thinking that you can work with if you enjoy it, but it's up to whoever you are influencing to pick up on your influence or not. But it will almost certainly make you feel better about the situation.

Symbol Healing

When you are feeling like you don't want to be feeling, you can take note of the specific feeling patterns you are getting and ask your thoughts to please come up with a symbol of your feeling. You can just imagine it or you can draw it or you can arrange some stones or matches or playing cards or beer coasters in a way that represents your bad feeling. When you've fully satisfied yourself that the representation feels accurate, you change the symbol in your mind or whatever representation you made until it feels great. You don't have to interpret the symbol very much, it's just about using your emotional guidance system to tweak it, and the symbol itself is just a change of thinking like any other.

Now once you get the knack of doing that for yourself, you can also do it for someone else by focusing on how you feel about them in a certain situation. As with the love light, the person may or may not pick up on your influence, but almost certainly, you will feel better about that person.

The Garden

The garden is a specialized form of symbol healing- you imagine yourself going into a garden, which is your garden. You will most likely see some kind of situation involving a lot of plants when you first imagine it. Then you pull plants you consider weeds because you don't like them very much, and plant plants you think are beautiful and exciting. Over time your garden will be more and more and more beautiful and exciting- and so will you and your experience. This is very nice symbol healing because re-using the same symbol over and over again really charges up its power for change.

And you can have your own garden for some person you love, and do the same thing for that person on a regular basis. Most likely, that person will pick up on your influence over time and decide to incoporate some of the suggestions you are making to that person on the thought level. But again, you will certainly feel better and better about that person, and your relationship with that person.

Creative Workshopping on behalf of others

Then there is one that's not Huna but is indeed directly from Abraham themselves. They suggest seeing people as they are wanting to be seen- so when you see someone is down and out, you stop it, by imagining that person in various circumstances until you get a feel that they are exciting to both you and that person. This is essentially just like the symbol healing, but it uses our actual experience as symbols. This is great because it's so physical, but it takes some getting used to to treat real-looking thoughtforms as just as real as the more dense thoughtforms of everday experience.


Depending on what kind of relationship you have, massage combined with imagination is a wonderful way to help other people feel wonderful, which also tends to help you feel wonderful, which tends to charge up both your imaginations. Hawaiian style massage is well known and it, according to Huna teaching, incorporates a lot of imagination and suggestion in a similar way as above, only that you are supporting your energy pattern changes with hand movements. You can become a Lomi Lomi professional, but you can also just use thought changes and imagination combined with gentle stroking and light pressing on the body that represent the changes in thought form to you. You can also do this remotely, using your real hands on a thoughtform representation of that person. That person may or may not want to be physically massaged by you, and if you do it remotely, may or may not be affected- but you will most certainly feel a lot better about that person after energy massaging them.

Manifesting for yourself

And then when you've done a bunch of that and feel really good about yourself, you can also go back to the things Abraham is so good at emphasizing from time to time, and those are the specific things you would like to bring about for yourself, like a million bucks and Tesla Roadster that doesn't run out of battery. Then other will see your good fortune and know it can be done and do it for themselves, or at least start attracting the means.

All teachings seem to be specific about some areas, and require trust in others. Abraham is very specific about manifesting very specific material things and circumstances, and requires you to be trusting that love and good relationships and helping others is a natural consequence. Zen focuses specifically on attaining clarity, and trusts that all kinds of other unspecified benefits will happen as a side effect. Huna mildly suggests you heal your world, your family, your friends and yourself and teach others how to do that, and to also use that to give yourself the right to receive all of those benefits for yourself. It's largely a seasoning to taste which side you want to roll it up from. Personally, I just love that way that Huna seems to blend the approaches of what is commonly seen as selfish and altruistic into a beautiful mix of goodness, starting out by improving relationships.


answered 05 Apr '17, 06:50

cmc's gravatar image


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