Hi everyone. I'm new here on this website and I would like to know what I can do in order to become better at deliberately focusing my mind and my thoughts.
I am 20 years old and know about Law of Attraction and so on and have been studying the teachings of Abraham for a few years now, and I feel that my confusion about what "focusing" and "thinking" means is something that is holding me back from steering my mind and feeling better in the way I want to (and holding me back from normally living my life). I understand things perfectly well intellectually, but I haven't had a lot of success in feeling better by using my mind in order to think better-feeling thoughts.
I also often feel a bit unaware of what my current thoughts are and what I'm thinking and I don't know why this is often hard to me. I would like to get some more clarity about what thinking means, how it works when you use your focus.
I understand that focusing is a natural thing and that we can only focus / think about one thing at a time, but I often feel like I don't understand how to do it. For example: I have decided that I now want to think about kittens, but I seem to not understand how to do that? How to change my mind to think about that subject. It doesn't feel natural and maybe I'm trying too much or something but if anyone has any tips or information about this, I would be very thankful. Learning how to deliberately use my focus is very important to me. Thanks!
asked 03 Mar '17, 03:22
I guess that after years of "trial and error" it's so obvious to me in my own mind that I didn't even realize how someone can't see that connection between being able to steer the mind and emotions. So let me explain.
For years I used to be a very analytical and science-oriented person. I always thought that having and feeling emotions was somehow a bad thing and that applying logic to everything was the only way to live.
So I didn't feel much emotions or "ups and downs" because I used to train myself to shut emotions down and ignore them whenever I could. Because I (unconsciously) thought that feeling bad or strong emotions would make me inferior and vulnerable in some way. Of course, I didn't consciously know that at that time. Being logical and having no or fewer emotions was basically a way for me to survive in this world.
Even though I didn't feel much emotions, I could somehow tell that my life wasn't going in the direction I wanted. I was very unhappy without really feeling unhappy emotionally. Still, I was trying to apply logic to my situation. So for years, I read hundreds of books, went to scientific seminars etc to find out the logical reason for my unhappiness.
Every time I thought I had finally found a logical, scientific explanation/theory for my unhappiness and my, by then, miserable life, it followed by being disappointed that my life wasn't changing by that beautiful, logical explanation. Nothing was working.
Then after years of trying to shut down emotions and searching for logical answers, I suddenly started having massive panic attacks (out of nowhere it seemed). My heart was pounding like it was about to explode and I was sweating while sitting in my chair at home. I was feeling intense fear and panic. But this time I couldn't shut it down no matter how hard I tried. My emotions were basically telling me "Alright, Mr. Logic, it's time for you to finally get the message now".
So, to make a long story short, the only way for me to get rid of these panic attacks was to either take beautiful, logical, scientifically approved... drugs for the rest of my life (as it was suggested by a doctor) to help me shut my emotions down even further or to explore alternative ways. And it finally led me to realize that instead of trying to shut down my emotions, I needed to do the complete opposite of it. I needed to be emotionally sensitive to make my life work.
Now let me give you a logical explanation as to why you need to connect with your emotions (and become very sensitive to them) to be able to steer your mind and to make all of those techniques and methods work :).
Emotions are the driver for everything worthwhile. Without a profound awareness of one's emotions, one is basically lost. They are also the driver of any learning process that has the potential of actually improving life. Notice that I didn't say that they are the driver of intellectual learning aka gathering information that has no practical value for your life (other than completing crosswords). Because you don't need emotions for gathering theoretical information. But you need a profound awareness of emotions for improving your life in a tangible way. Here is why.
Imagine you are someone that doesn't feel any pain. And imagine that, as a child, you touch a hot stove. You look at your fingers and see that they have changed color because of the burn. You can even smell that they are burned. But you don't feel anything. So you just wonder what that phenomenon means. So you do it again and again to find a logical explanation. And you wonder why you can't understand it.
Your finger is terribly burned by now and you think that maybe it's not okay to touch the stove. So you ask your parents. And they tell you that it's not good for you and try to give you a logical, scientific explanation why burning is bad. You get it so you try to avoid stoves. But one day you just forget it and you lean on a hot stove while talking on the phone. Now you are badly burned. You know it's bad for you intellectually. But you haven't really learned.
You have a logical explanation but it's not enough. It's nothing you do subconsciously and automatically like driving a car. You always have to remind yourself. So it has no practical value for you. No matter how much you read about the science of burning, you will never learn. Because you don't have the required sensitivity for real, practical learning.
So it's similar to "steering your mind". If you don't feel subtle levels of pain and pleasure, you can't condition yourself appropriately on a subconscious level for learning mind-control techniques. And no matter how much you read about it... you will never learn unless you tune that emotional sensitivity way up.
And, as I mentioned, body-focused meditation techniques like the Mc²Method (www.mc2method.com) are very good for this purpose. The more you can enhance your emotional sensitivity ("emotional connection" is actually the wrong word I guess, because you are always connected) the better and faster you will learn.
And you won't need anyone or any school of thought tell you what to do. You will become self-sufficient in learning and improve your life using any technique you find appropriate for you.
I hope I could convince you a little bit why it's important for you to become more aware of your emotions.
@spnx, there's an exercise here on the site called "Manifesting Experiment 2" or "Focus Blocks", by Stingray, that may help you. You may search on "tags", where you can find all the questions related to this exercise and learn how to do it - there are many explanations. I hope it helps :)
answered 03 Mar '17, 06:04
The feeling you get from consciously focusing on kittens is actually perfectly natural, you just aren't used to it. Whatever feels natural to you right now simply means you have gotten used to it. If you want something new to feel natural to you, you just have to keep doing it and you will get used to that.
In other words, the very thing you are feeling uneasy with is exactly what you are looking for: Feedback that you are indeed focusing and that the focusing is having an effect. So when you focus on kittens, and you notice a shift in your feelings, then you are indeed focusing on something rather than just having random thoughts. When that feeling is how you would expect to feel when you are around kittens, that tells you that your focus really is having the effect you want.
You are always thinking a huge amount of things, and you don't need to be aware of them all. Driving a car, for example, what you want is to decide where to go, and then let your habitual thoughts do the driving for you, only intervening if something unexpected happens. That's what habits are for, they free you to create. You only really need to worry about what you are already thinking if you focus on something you want and start to feel bad. Then you shift your focus to a question: What am I thinking that feels bad in this particular way? Whatever comes up, you change the thought in your mind to a better version of that, and focus on it a little bit. Then you go back to your original focus.
So if you were focusing on kittens, don't worry about all other thoughts you may be having. If you were, then you would not be focusing on kittens. So if you do start thinking about other things than kittens, gently remind yourself you want to focus on kittens now, and go back to it, so you get a cycle of kittens-distracted-reminder-kittens-distracted-reminder. As long as you're doing that, you're still focusing to a degree, which will most likely already feel much much much better than just thinking randomly. After a while of doing that, the distractions get fewer and shorter, and you get more emotion and hence more effect. When you really take it far, and kittens are starting to appear in your life in the way that you wanted to with your focus, then your kitten thinking has become habitual and you can move on to other things that are important to you.
The one reason where your habitual thoughts become relevant while focusing is when they contradict what you are focusing on. For example, if you are focusing on kittens, and you start thinking about getting bitten and scratched bloody by one, then it is a good idea to ask yourself: What am I thinking about kittens that hurts? Then you take whatever comes up, and change it in your mind into a better version of it. So if you have a memory of being bitten by a kitten, just change the biting to licking in your mind, and when you get a shift in your feeling, go back to thinking about kittens.
Of course, replace the example "kittens" to anything that is important to you. It is usually easier to bring up feelings that way.
answered 03 Mar '17, 11:17
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