hi everyone....

i know its a weird question but....but there's always some mis understandings with co-creation im just trying to explore some more. so..

if im the only one who can control MY reality, and i know i cant control other's reality. but, if im involved with, lets say, a fat partner. i know i should accept him as he is, but i didnt want to attract him like that into my experience (but i did, and i like him a lot). and also i know its just physicality (but that's important).

the thing is, if it is my reality and i want him to be thin or built because it is MY life and MY partner , then - can i do that?

i thought about it for a while, and i belive that the one of us who wants it more (he to eat junk food or me for him to be hot and health) will "win" . even though there is not "competition" really but i think that how it is - the one who want it more, right? should i imagine him in a different way?

i will appreciet your comments.
co- creation is the most interesting topic for me now.

asked 09 Feb '18, 07:27

myself's gravatar image


edited 09 Feb '18, 10:21

IQ%20Moderator's gravatar image

IQ Moderator ♦♦

At risk of sounding dark, what your questions sums up is precisely why I don't buy into reality creation concepts; you have addressed such a simple plainly obvious point. If you can create your reality exactly the way you want it, then why is it we cannot create people to be certain shapes, attitudes and sizes?

Precise, definite to the bone reality creation does not exist. If it did we would all be able to fly at will or change others.

(I am in favour of your question)

(09 Feb '18, 07:48) Nikulas

i know, this topic does creats the feeling that you cant really control your reality. thats why im interesting in it.

(09 Feb '18, 07:55) myself
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You can! If you visualize that person as thin and fit, and it is somewhat within the probabilities of that person to become so, and that person does not have a spiritually important reason to be heavy, then they will readily adapt.

You need to pay attention that there is no resistance. You need to first clear any and all negativity or resistance to your partner being heavy, and you need to make that heaviness a positive thing by reinterpreting- for example, physical weight is a great way to "throw your weight around" as a symbol of confidence and status. Your relationship may need some adjustment to accomodate that change of physical symbolism. You need to be so positive about your partner's current weight that he knows with absolute certainty that your love and your positive feelings toward him are not conditional on his weight at all. Once you have done that, and you have learned what you need to learn from the experience, if you visualize your partner as more fit, and you include in the visualization lots and lots of highly pleasurable aspects of the new status, such as great sex and sense of accomplishment and freedom from aches and pains and emotional gratifying situations, he will most likely readily respond to the suggestion over time.

What you cannot do is directly control his experience- that is where free will is involved. The closer you get to his body, the more influence he has and the less you do. But with skill, you can have a tremendous amount of influence, and it can be to your liking as you chose it to be, and it can be purely positive.


answered 11 Feb '18, 13:50

cmc's gravatar image


thank you @cmc for your answer. can you please expand on this: "What you cannot do is directly control his experience- that is where free will is involved. The closer you get to his body, the more influence he has and the less you do"?

i didnt understant what did you mean by "directly". what is the differance between the first visualisation explanation and that one, why here free will is involved and in the first explanation it is'nt?

(11 Feb '18, 14:11) myself

and also what do you mean by- the closer you get to his body - he's my boyfriend - i am close to his body haaaa (or i didnt get you? english isnt my first language).why he has more influence than me? thanks again!!

(11 Feb '18, 14:13) myself

They are one and the same- when you are visualizing, you are influencing. You control the visualization, but not the influence it has.

When you visualize for yourself, then you have a direct influence on yourself- it's your body, it doesn't get much closer than that.

(11 Feb '18, 14:17) cmc

When you visualize for your boyfriend, it still has influence, but less- his own visualization and attention is involved, so you are removed a step from it. That's why you add all the feel-good aspects, but he can still bawk, subconsciously, and decide some other aspect is more important than all the information about positive aspects of fitness that are emanating from your mind.

(11 Feb '18, 14:18) cmc

The co-creation happes by your higher selfs (and those of those involved) creating a mix of both of your energies at each time, according to the level of influence you both can have. Using spiritual techniques you can have an incredibly strong influence- ironically, the more aware you are of the limits you do have (he can and might just ignore everything you do if he likes his hashbrowns enough- you want to account for this)- the more influence you have.

(11 Feb '18, 14:20) cmc

im sorry, but from what you say i can seem to find my answer. in my visualization i see my boifriend as fit and healthy like i am. and since it is MY LIFE that im creating and my boyfriend is a part of MY LIFE than i dond see other way than him to be as i want.

(11 Feb '18, 14:32) myself

but!! he has his free will...and his own energy...im not interesting in controlling anyone, but i dont understand how we are a match in the first place (and again i do like him)? according to the law he's suppose to be a match to me, and im in a healthy lifestyle for years. why would i even need a technique when it is suppose to be natural?

(11 Feb '18, 14:33) myself

Being fit and attracting a fit person are two different vibrations- as different as broccoli and a semi truck. You had a propensity to be fit and have a not-so-fit partner, and he has a propensity to have a fit partner and not be so fit. So you match. That's how it works.

With your visualization, you are changing your propensity to attract a not-so-fit person to attracting a fit person. This also acts as a suggestion to him to change, which will have some effect on him.

(11 Feb '18, 14:37) cmc

His free will comes in where if what you have in mind for him is too far outside what he is likely to be inclined to do, he will no longer be compatible with your new vibration, and he will no longer be your partner. My guess is that what you have in mind is well within his natural inclination- you probably want something for him he also wants for himself, so your suggestive visualization is purely beneficial as long as you have no resistance to how he is now.

(11 Feb '18, 14:39) cmc

ok, i think i got it now. i think i knew that before i met him and now compeletly forgot. so you say i can visualize whatever i want, and only if he is close to that vibe i can have influence on him. so visualize and let go of the outcome. it can be him or someone else...yes?

(11 Feb '18, 14:46) myself

Yes, exactly! Visualize whatever you want- it is your symbolism and changes your propensity and also acts as a potent suggestive device- but it's up to him, subconsciously or consciously, to accept it, or not. But if there is no resistance, and you do a good job with your visualizing, the effects will be intensively pleasurable to both of you, so the chances he may chose to go along with it are pretty good.

(11 Feb '18, 14:50) cmc

thank you so much!! i really appreciate this :)

(11 Feb '18, 14:52) myself

You're welcome! I'm happy I was able to help!

(11 Feb '18, 14:54) cmc
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