I only have one or two small group of friends and this puts me in a dilemma. When we meet up together, I always seem to be unable to agree with them on the things we should be doing.

For example, I personally do not like to drink but they would ask me to go drink. If I say no, they would ask reasons why, and there is no answer I can give them other than I don't like to drink. If I say yes, I would not really be that happy myself and I would somehow be "forcing" myself to do things I don't like - and it has been said the first step to mastering the LOA is to learn to be happy in your own life and do the things that you really want to do.

What do I do in this situation when saying "no" makes me feel unhappy too (because the whole group would not go there just because I do not want to go, even though I said I don't mind them going ahead without me), and saying "yes" makes me unhappy too? Drinking is just an example, or like I am a guy who only likes to do one thing at a time when I go out and get home early, etc but they like to go home late and do a lot of things one after another, etc..

asked 18 Jul '11, 07:33

kakaboo's gravatar image


Abraham explains in LOA books, that it is wise to get into vibration (feel good), THEN make decisions. This means, it's harder for the novice LOA practitioner to re-wire bad events opposed to attracting brand new, like minded events.

So, before you meet up with your friends next time, as a suggestion, do everything you can the next 3 hours before you meet up with them to put yourself in a feel-good state. The longer you remain in it, then the better the ramifications of whatever experience you'll enjoy more.

My answer's slightly off-track but hope it gives you help :)


answered 19 Jul '11, 11:43

Nikulas's gravatar image


Your problem is not that your desires and preferences are not being accommodated by your friends.

Your problem is your CONTINUOUS ATTENTION upon your realization that your friends are not accommodating your wishes and that YOU are constantly the one to "give in" to their wishes with no reciprocal accommodation on their part.

Our consciousness is, at a certain level, a collective consciousness soup where we gather our inner circle of friends, family, co-workers, etc. and feast from the same soup bowl of collective consciousness.

There is a sharing of information on a psychic level between those you interact with on a regular basis.

Within these groups, the participants share information and trigger each other's behavior on a purely psychic level.

The truth is you actually do this with all of humanity, but the most obvious place in which you can observe and experiment with this effect is to start with the those with whom you interact with on a regular basis.

You are the trigger, always, in how people behave with you and towards you.

To be more specific, YOUR ANTICIPATION is the "SCRIPT" from which the behavior of others towards you takes shape.

Your anticipation of how you might be treated again, begins to exist as a thought form or energy construct.

Your entire description of your problem including all the details of "how" and "when" and "who did what" etc., all go into forming an energy construct of your anticipation.

The more you give attention to the "Idea" that you have a problem, the greater, the excitement and enthusiasm and the growth potential of the energy construct.

As far as energy is concerned, intensity on your part becomes excitement and desire of existence.

From where you stand you are giving a lot of energy and intensity to the idea of something that you don't want to experience.

But because you are giving intensity to this idea, the idea begins to emerge into existence with great enthusiasm and gusto.

What you do not want becomes great potential for participation between you and your circle of daily interaction.

Your friends participate with you on an un-conscious level far more than they do on a conscious and physical level.

When you all get together, you are all sharing information with each other unconsciously in a completely natural manner where each one gets what they want from the relationship by unconsciously instructing each other as to what is important for them.

Your problem as you described is what is important for you right now in your interaction with your friends.

This is your current "vision" with respect to your friends.

Your friends unconsciously pick up on your current vision or "obsession" every time you interact with them.

They, un-consciously, pick-up on your anticipation of how you feel and your vision of how they have treated you in the past.

Your anticipation of what they might do to you becomes the most natural thing for them to do to you.

YOUR ANTICIPATION BECOMES THEIR PERMISION to continue to treat you in the way you do not want to be treated.


It is as if you are instructing them in great detail on how to fulfill your anticipated fear and discomfort.

The greater, your attention to your problem, the greater the energy that spins (symbolic) in harmony with this anticipated potential as an opportunity of manifestation of your particular problem.

As energy, there is great enthusiasm in your friends being attracted towards you to volunteer to fulfill your vision.

The fact that your vision happens to be a "problem" or something you want to avoid happening to you again is completely irrelevant.

Your vision is energy and as such it is energy that is trying to fulfill its role of emerging into existence so that you can physically experience that which you are manifesting in energy.

And since your friend’s participation is part of your vision, the energy that has now come into existence will be effortlessly picked up by your friends from within the collective pool of consciousness.

Your friends, unconsciously, complete the other end of the equation of your anticipation.

So they will "live up" to the anticipated behavior that you are holding in vision.

And since your vision is one of discomfort, their behavior towards you causing you to experience discomfort will be completely natural and permissive on their part.

Because you gave them permission by giving great attention and focus to your vision of their behavior and what it means to you, and this vision became a thought form that is now thrusting forth into reality so that you can physically participate in your vision.

If you want to stop this you have to do two things.

Step one is the most important.



What you envision becomes your reality.

Reality is the physical counterpart of consciousness.

Let me repeat that.


My entire, long winded" answer is an attempt to help you comprehend that simple statement.

If it is in your consciousness, its opportunity to happen to you will show up in reality.

Your friends can only do to you what you envision them doing to you in your imagination.

They are simply fulfilling your vision of anticipation.

Step one is not something you do towards a goal of completion.

Step one is something you do your entire lifetime.


Talk to your friends about how you feel without discussing any of the ideas we discuss here.

They don't need a lecture on the Law of Attraction.

They need to know that you are about to make a change and you no longer want to "go along" with something that makes you uncomfortable.

But don't ask them permission or ask them to treat you differently, because that puts you in a victim mode.

Just tell them that in the past you have gone along with the group but it has always bothered you inside and now you are going to make a change because you want to enjoy the experience of hanging out with them without feeling uncomfortable inside.

Do it when it happens, instead of making a huge production of it, because once again, if you draw attention to it as if it is a big deal, you will feel more like a victim.

You don't want to complain your way towards change.

You want to declare it with confidence.

When your friends force you to do something you don't like, AT THAT MOMENT, tell them

"You know what? I'm not going to do this. I went along with this in the past, but it bothered me inside because I really didn't want to do it. I regret not saying to you that I didn't want to do this in the past. I'm not going to do that anymore. You guys go ahead, but sorry guys, this is where I draw the line. Leave me out of it.

If you think you can't pull that off, practice in the privacy of your home with an object to stand in for your friends and run the scenario through your mind and respond with physical actions and words as if it's real, again and again, until it is natural to react with that confidence.

Remember, you are in charge of YOUR experience of reality.

They can only do to you what you envision being done to you by them.

Once you learn to manage your consciousness you can essentially control their behavior towards you with how you envision.

Envisioning here is not meditation.

It is what is in your mind right now, and right now, and right now, and right now, and right now, and right now......drip.....drip......drip........drip.....thought.....after ....thought....after....thought...after...thought.


So take responsibility for your consciousness.


answered 23 Jul '11, 05:34

The%20Traveller's gravatar image

The Traveller

I just used the word 'soup' in another answer before reading this...sorry Traveller :)

(23 Jul '11, 12:24) Michaela

Hi Michaela. I'm not sure I got your comment, unless it was your brilliant humor with reference to my apology to you during my last answer ;)

(23 Jul '11, 15:28) The Traveller

Hmm nope, I have most of the time never went along with their suggestions and said "No" firmly no matter how many times they try to persuade me to do so, and that is what is bothering me

(31 Jul '11, 15:52) kakaboo
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

I don't have any friends because I don't drink and do many of the things people do when they get together. I personally have not found any people who are like minded. I am happy. It would be nice to have a social life, but I would be less happy if I did things that went against who I am, than if I am just alone. When my vibrations are right, I will attract like minded friends. And so will you.

What if you suggest something that you want to do? Next time, have a plan and suggest it to them.


answered 18 Jul '11, 12:28

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

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