I don't like life anymore. I can't handle much more time in this life. I cannot handle the cycle of depression and dissapointment anymore. I am not going to go on a rant on how I feel, just please answer, what if you need massive change more or less instantly?

asked 13 Mar '13, 21:15

flowsurfer's gravatar image


you're in cycle of depression and disappointment, because you enjoy being in it. Otherwise you wouldn't be there. And all this looking for ways to run away is only temporary before you return back to where you like being the most. Maybe stop using it as crutch. And you can walk away from it.

(14 Mar '13, 03:49) CalonLan

@CalonLan Thank you for your opinion but you are mistaken.

(14 Mar '13, 12:27) flowsurfer

@CalonLan - I saw this last night. Great answer! If I had enough Karma points I would turn your comment into a Community Wiki answer & add to it. @flowsurfer - you asked Cal why he was here - NOW, you know.

(14 Mar '13, 16:01) ele

@ele I do know why CalonLan is here. He needs to reassure himself. I also understand what he means by his comment; but he is wrong.

(14 Mar '13, 16:12) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer I disagree with Cal on one point. I don't believe you are enjoying this; but you are getting something out of this role. Another user asked a new user the very same question & equated it with enjoyment. I didn't agree with him either. I didn't think the new user was enjoying it. I sensed fear & he was choosing comfort, familiarity & most of all safety over living. I wondered (past tense) why this elite member chose a newbie to ask the most important of all questions & not ...

(14 Mar '13, 21:30) ele

...& not poise the same question to other long time users who were stuck.

(14 Mar '13, 21:31) ele

@flowsurfer, let me jump on the wave here and show you how I surf.... No problem being wrong, I never attempted to be right. I'm here to merely pass my time at work, and to troll you in your face. 'cept my plan is not working because you're in denial and can't seem to get aggravated by what I say, thus not getting pissed on me, then realizing I don't care, therefore getting pissed on yourself and realizing so many things we point out.

And of course I like to post here, ...

(15 Mar '13, 04:10) CalonLan

...virtual spotlight is just alright to satisfy my lust for attention. I mean, we're talking Ice Cream and Candies of the virtual reality here! lol.

I have my problems, and it's the sense of security of knowing my problems as opposed to being without them that keeps me having them. But in the end, whether I cry or smile, it's the same life. I enjoy my problems, I enjoy the way they move me and so do you.

In the end is all pointless. You could live in thousands way, you still be their prisoner.

(15 Mar '13, 04:15) CalonLan

In other words, whether comedy or tragedy... it's a show.

(15 Mar '13, 04:17) CalonLan
showing 0 of 9 show 9 more comments

In your current vibrational state you feel miserable and thus you want to make a quantum leap, which is understandable imo.

But although it might sound like an empty phrase, the answer is really that you are reaching to feel much better...permanently! So the quantum leap you are after is really a quantum leap in clarity and feeling better. I can't and I think nobody can give you an answer that will give you a quantum leap. Because your individual answer is within you. But I believe that you can get that answer from yourself if you allow it and have much more clarity.

What I think is going on with you is that you visualize cool things and feel good... until you observe your reality again and what's actually going on in your circumstances. Now that contrast makes you even feel worse because you now know how you could feel if you could live in your visualisation forever.

I think that you learned many new things (if I remember rightly you visualised things!?) and that recently those things made you at least feel a little bit better for a small percentage of your time...if you actually compare it to the time before you knew those things. So that might not be the biggest reward. But it is at least objectively a progress.

As I could observe I believe that you are lacking clarity. Your visualisation gives you more clarity of what you want, but then all your crappy thoughts, reality and limiting beliefs pull you back in.

The best process that I know to knock out those limiting beliefs in one go is stingray's manifesting experiment 4. But I believe that you are not ready for it yet and that it will just annoy you at the moment.

So here is a process that gives great clarity and is btw a manifesting process from which many people benefited before. It takes about 3-4 hours! I haven't tried it but from what I know is that many people say it's the best process to see things differently and to make life changing decisions after that. Quantum leap knowledge and wisdom is really within you. But you can only receive it, if you are in allowing mode and have clarity. So it's definitely worth investing 3-4 hours for that process if you are constantly in a desperate state.

The video is currently not working. But here is the text.

Setting Goals Reboot Your Brain

I recently learned about another way of setting goals. The creator of this method is John Reese and he calls his method - Reboot Your Brain.

Basically in order to reboot your brain you need to spend at least a few hours with 3 pads of paper and a good pen. It took me a little over 3 hours one night to do this setting goals exercise.

The link to his explanation is below (the last time I checked it took quite a few seconds for the video to load so be patient, it is worth it):

Reboot Your Brain Video by John Reese

I have summarized the procedure for you below:

Step #1 - The To Do expedition

Take one of your pads and a pen and list all the things that you need to do in your life. You list each thing on one line. You keep writing until you are mentally exhausted and cannot think of anything else you need to do. I had a list of about 180 separate things I needed to do. You keep writing until you cannot think of anything else for 5 to 10 minutes.

Now take a short break to walk around for a few minutes.

Step #2 - List Your Desires

Take a different pad and a pen and list all the things that you want to buy, have and experience, one per line. This would be the bigger things like cars, houses, trips, stuff and experiences that you think will make your life wonderful, exciting and satisfying. Keep writing to the point of mental exhaustion until you cannot think of anything else you desire for 5 to 10 minutes.

Take a short break.

Step #3 - List Your Fears

Take your third pad and write down all your fears, one fear per line. List what you are afraid of.

Take a short break.

Step #4 - Take all 3 pads and read each entry, in order, one by one and aloud. Start with the to do list, then the desire list then the fear list.

Step #5 - Write down any new thoughts for each list as a result of reading all three lists. As you are reading one list you will probably think of additional to dos, desires and fears.

Step #6 - Examine Fear List

Look for ways to alleviate fears and then add these ways to your to do list pad.

Step #7 - Examine Desire List

Think of possible solutions to your desires. See if you can think of things that you can add to your to do list that will bring you closer to your desires.

Step #8 - Prioritize your to do list

Then sit back and relax. You have now created your master to do list and have effectively done a very much more effective setting goals exercise than most anything you have probably ever done.

It is then recommended to do this exercise once every month. It probably will not take as long as the first time.



answered 14 Mar '13, 00:05

releaser99's gravatar image


I used to "visualize cool things and feel good"; it worked pretty well at making me feel good, I remember feeling really, really good. Now it is very hard to do that, I can't feel that love anymore.

"Now that contrast makes you even feel worse because"... yes the contrast hurts but the main difficulty is with the historical pattern of knowing the better life I imagine and identify myself with is just a phantom image in my mind that never materializes into concrete reality.

(14 Mar '13, 00:33) flowsurfer

"But it is at least objectively a progress." - This is where my pain is. It's not. Years ago, I had problems but I also used to feel euphoric for days at a time, I used to feel a really deep sense of love. And I know that those feelings didn't turn my life around, they didn't guide me to better things. So when I try to feel better now there is a feeling of futility, of struggling against the current of life that is just dragging me down. There is the feeling that it is not worth the effort.

(14 Mar '13, 00:39) flowsurfer

Thank you, but what do you do when the lists just make you think you are hopelessly defeated in life? I was going to do them as described but I can't bring myself to start. I can't handle the lists I already have naturally because I see steps 6 and 7 as useless with the things in lists 2 and 3 that matter most. I realize I am being negative but that is where I am, it is what feels real to me right now.

(14 Mar '13, 01:08) flowsurfer

@releaser99 Your statement that I lack clarity didn't resonate with me but thinking about it I realized there is one sense in which it is accurate. When I ask myself what I want (and even more so if others ask me) the reflex I have is to reply with "What are my options?". I want to return to my teens (and then etc). Since I know that is crazy I have to start drawing a border before answering. And then the border starts closing in on me. Managing that border makes me scatter. It blurs desire.

(14 Mar '13, 02:11) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer You are welcome. The whole point of this process is gaining clarity although it might look like it's a goal setting and action taking process at first. Confusion and hopelessness vibrates and attracts more thoughts of confusion and hopelessness. So you must break that cycle first. You can ignore steps 7 and 8 if you wish to and probably still get answers from within automatically. The important thing is to write down EVERYTHING that bothers you until you are exhaustet.

(14 Mar '13, 09:05) releaser99

You will see that you write things down that you didn't know you had on your mind because they were unconscious but still were an active confusion factor in you. After you reboot your brain and really write everything down, great answers can come to you in the next hours, days and weeks from your higher self. And to you it will appear like the next logical thought or idea, although it may be a "quantum leap answer" for your current self and mood now.

(14 Mar '13, 09:06) releaser99

"When I ask myself what I want (and even more so if others ask me) the reflex I have is to reply with "What are my options?". I want to return to my teens (and then etc)" So since you now realize that there is something controlling you (crappy thoughts and beliefs) and there might go something wrong in your head on autopilot, you could now for a while ignore your confusion cycle and give that process a try.

(14 Mar '13, 09:15) releaser99

The question I ask myself often when I try something new or unusual is "What can I loose trying that? What could be the worse case?". Often the answer is "loosing time". Then I look at my whole sitation and decide if this process is worth investing the time or if I should do the same thing that I did before... or something else better. It's risk management so to speak. The answer is then often obvious.

(14 Mar '13, 09:15) releaser99

@flowsurfer "What are my options?" That is perfect, yes I agree...

We are taught since children we have to pick between "these choices." We are always given preselected choices to pick from. Even for voting for president do you want the Democrat or Republican? I actually voted for the 12 Visions Party candidate myself.

(14 Mar '13, 09:23) Wade Casaldi

This is actually an oppression of the mind! An artist looks at a blank canvas and he does not have choices of which thing out of three or four choices to pick from.

(14 Mar '13, 09:27) Wade Casaldi

I know that I have felt like I just wish someone would tell me what to do and how to do it! This is insane! This is what we are indoctrinated with, to obey and pick from what we are told to pick from. We need to see ourselves as unlimited and free! We can not only make choices we can totally come up with our own ideas that no one ever thought about!

(14 Mar '13, 09:27) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi The problem with asking for something that is not on the menu is that you'll probably end up with nothing at all. But then I look at the menu and there is nothing I want there. And I look around and see other people have a different menu to choose from and their food looks yummy. At which point I am torn between different negative emotions and feel like leaving the restaurant... but I am still hungry.

(14 Mar '13, 12:38) flowsurfer

@releaser99 "So since you now realize that there is something controlling you (crappy thoughts and beliefs) and there might go something wrong in your head on autopilot, you could now for a while ignore your confusion cycle..." How exactly do I ignore my confusion cycle while doing this? Do I pretend everything is possible and I can write down "turn back time" or do I set a boundary on what is possible before? How do I figure out a boundary? What context do I give to items? What filter do I use?

(14 Mar '13, 13:00) flowsurfer

releaser.. when i was really depressed the last thing on my mind was to go after a list... thast why these things are veyr personal in nature and Abraham says to do whatever feels slightly better for you... when i was depressed i like the letting go and you will get what you want....

(14 Mar '13, 13:55) abrahamloa

so i am not saying that will work for others but its different for different people... Even now i dont set goals and action plan but i know what i want and i do take lot of action but because i love it... and i dont even plan it.. it all just comes to me what to do and it works beautifully since i leave it to Universe... anyway thanks for listing your list that works... i think anyone who resonates with this can use to their benefit!!

(14 Mar '13, 13:55) abrahamloa

I love this, releaser, and I am going to try it to see what happens!

(14 Mar '13, 15:48) LeeAnn 1

@releaser99 When I read your answer to @flowsurfer yesterday & voted it up; I was going to tell you how much I liked it & how helpful it was. I was also going to add; your answer would be exceptional had you prefaced your answer by saying it starts with a choice - making a decision. I didn't have time to look up the link & I wasn't sure how you would feel about my feedback. I'm going to add the link so Flow can see Stingrays brilliant answer & also SR's new ? - I hope they help you Flo.

(16 Mar '13, 01:50) ele

@flowsurfer I hope Stingray's decision answer is of some help & Stingray's question & all the answers given to his new question are of assistance also. I also don't think your issue is apathy; but I think his thoughts will be very helpful.



(16 Mar '13, 01:52) ele

@flowsurfer like I said, I don't think your issue is exactly apathy. It does play a part. If you search around you'll find a link to poverty consciousness which I think you will find helpful.

(16 Mar '13, 02:30) ele

@ele Thank you, sincerely. I cannot see the value in what you linked; and yes, I do understand in practice what is being meant and how taking charge of something small can help lift your heart and shift your perspective and push you to start taking charge of something bigger. That is how I have managed to cope with depression so far but, also in practice, I hit a wall and become paralyzed and the process reverts. The wall is awareness of the big picture options, the smaller options lose meaning.

(16 Mar '13, 04:38) flowsurfer
showing 2 of 20 show 18 more comments

hi FlowSurfer.. i can resonate to some extent how you feel. I used to feel similar 2 yrs back. It was very hard and any free time i get i used to go into -ve thoughts etc.I just did not know what to do. BUt here is what i did and you can do that too.

Step1) I work 9-5. so when i am at work usually i am to some extent busy... but when i get in betwen time i read books on kindle about Source energy and how Universe is abundant etc etc.. this will keep training your mind that even if i am struggling now if i let go then things could change. I also read impossuble things peiople have achieved from Law of attraction and letting go etc... which tells me it could happen for me too.

Step 2) Everyday i had a list of gratitude... i would put real small things too there that i appreciate in life. Soimetimes i did not feel it but i still did it.

Step 3) I did every meditation for 15 mins or 10 miuns or 1/2 hr whatevr i could. Go to Paramahansa Yogananda Self realization foundation or any other source that impart you knowledge that being silent and doing a little of that everyday puts you in touch with Source/God. That way your beliefs will shift as you keep doing everyday because you know God will answer you.

Step 4) LISTEN to all the AMAZING SPIRITUAL AND NEW AGE MASTERS are adviving. I listened to Abraham. To do something you love. I did not even know what i loved. But i sort of enjoyed some dancing.... it could be anything that you truly like a little bit. Once i started going to dance classes it improved my vibration from sad to neutral. I started taking classes almost everyday. So that way after work i was busy.. and it was something you sort of like. So when i busy i found that i stopped thikning negative thoughts... soon i started to enjoy some dancing.. of course when i go back home again i would think -ve thoughts... then i would watch some movie instead at home to distract myself from thinking... Bottom line what Abraham says or Bashar says WORK!! give it some time to test for yourself.. be patient and believe Universe will deliver... even i could not at that moment so i understand your reservations... but whats the harm try... thats what i thought too... whats the harm try... soon univeres lifted my vibration.....

if you want send me a private message and i can walk you through lot of things based on what you are doing on everyday basis....


answered 14 Mar '13, 13:46

abrahamloa's gravatar image


I am afraid of getting older. Afraid is not the right word. I feel like this: I have $100 and I want to buy something that costs $200. So I don't want to spend those $100, I want to invest them to be able to buy the $200 item. But inflation is pushing the cost of the $200 item up faster than the return on any investment. Every day, even if my $100 increases in value, it is worth less relative to what I want. 5, 10, 15 years ago, the $200 item seemed closer. Now I am scared it's out of reach.

(14 Mar '13, 14:16) flowsurfer

There is no private message system on IQ. If you are willing to talk 1-1, let me know and we can work something out.

(14 Mar '13, 14:17) flowsurfer

i am at work now... but you can email me at rchak1@aol.com and we can figure a time to talk.

(14 Mar '13, 14:25) abrahamloa

there are different ways to approach this and it only depends which approach give you better flow. which feels better to you personally. But before trying any approaches it is essential to soften the effect of what you said - 1) Age area 2) Money issue. The way you do is believing Universe will deliver it to you and for now just forget resolving these temporarily... say for 3-6 months you say let me not worry about this for now. And just trust that magically Universe will resolve that to you..

(14 Mar '13, 15:06) abrahamloa

also start cultivating the belief that your connection to Source energy is what is most important. Do you like meditation? Or any activity that sort of puts you in a trance or like distorts time and space a little. For example if you go out dancing... sometimes suddenly for an hour you are just enjoying and you dont feel the time and its like trancelike....

(14 Mar '13, 15:09) abrahamloa

can you get to that in any activity you love??? When that happens you get in touch with the Cosmic Consciousness which is far more infinite than our limited physical consciousness....

(14 Mar '13, 15:09) abrahamloa

or do you sing? i am askng these because here your vibration usually will be lot Purer ... since these you will do just because you like and enjoy and you dont have any agenda that you should get to some place.... Do you get what i am saying... so if you apply the Universe's Divine play in this area, it will be much easier for you to observe how things can move!

(14 Mar '13, 15:11) abrahamloa

The core issue is age. Letting the time pass is painful. Getting into a trance-like state where time flies by is something that actually scares me. I sometimes don't want to sleep because of this. I don't have anything I am willing to get lost in. Even sexual stimulation; I have to occupy my time somehow and I try to pick the most enjoyable ways available, be it music, Neville's lectures, porn, movies, games, work, taking a walk, etc; but whatever I do feels like a bad investment of time.

(14 Mar '13, 15:54) flowsurfer

@abrahamloa "I also read impossuble things peiople have achieved from Law of attraction and letting go etc..." - Where?

(14 Mar '13, 18:47) flowsurfer
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

Well flowsurfer, i congratulate you for having spontaneously made that desperate quantum leap in the right direction, that of hope ... probably the most effective way of relieving depression is to share your problems, externalize them, rather than keeping them bottled up inside and that is exactly what you are doing by explaining how you feel here on IQ. Speaking to friends and family, writing down your problems in a notebook, eventually consulting an expert are all good therapies. Communication is the key, we hear your call ...

alt text

... it's all to do with the habit of looking at the mud in your life instead of looking at the stars. We live in a world of duality which means there is a flip side to everything. When we look to the stars neurotic flips to balanced, depression flips to hope, introvert flips to confident, anxiety flips to ease.

Habit is based on long term memory. Basically everything starts with short term memory, anything you see, hear , touch or experience enters almost instantly into your short term memory. We have short term memories so that we can use something immediately and then forget it if we no longer need to know it. When we do the same thing regularly it enters into our long term memory, things like getting dressed, driving a car.The basal ganglia, large structures deep within the brain, control the intensity of mental activity, when you are under extreme pressure, the brain shifts to emergency mode and it usually stays in this mode for a very short time. When living in stressful conditions for months or years this mode of functioning can enter into the long term memory and become a habit. Over time you enter into a state of uncontrollable hyperactivity which eventually leads to depression, anxiety, and neurosis.

We can undo all this in a quantum flip from a state of poverty consciousness

alt text

to a state of abundance consciousness

alt text

All we need to do is make a firm decision and act on it.


answered 14 Mar '13, 10:43

ru%20bis's gravatar image

ru bis

edited 16 Mar '13, 04:37

An expert in what? I don't want to "relieve depression". I want a life worth living. I went to doctors and their impression of me is that of someone with Dysthymia, so they gave me prozac. I took it for a few weeks because I figured there was no harm in it, then I realized it had made me impotent. So I stopped. Doctors don't have my best interests at hear, they just have a process they go through so they can make enough money to be able to have their own version of a life worth living.

(14 Mar '13, 13:30) flowsurfer

yes dysthymia; neurotic, introverted, depression, anxiety, compulsive behaviour ... i've been there many years ago and it's real painful even frightening bordering psychosis ... experts assisted me in getting out

(14 Mar '13, 14:23) ru bis

Such symbolism in that pic..

(14 Mar '13, 16:08) ele

@flowsurfer - if we didn't recognize it in ourselves; we couldn't see it in you. If you have a chemical imbalance & you wish to go with drugs - try Wellbutrin - it doesn't take away desire.

(14 Mar '13, 16:15) ele

@flowsurfer the symbolism of the 'ear' - can you hear me? Do you see me? Here I am. Can't you hear me? Here I am. Can't you hear me? Yes,I hear you. We all can hear you. We all see you. We all can read. Your questions are all the same; from the first to the last. Add the possibility of suicide & I feel manipulated.

(14 Mar '13, 16:43) ele

@ele I know.

(14 Mar '13, 16:46) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer (sorry - wrong thread) No, I'm not being mean; I'm trying to help you. I had to channel my inner bitch & right some wrongs in the real world. I'm prob still in bitch mode cause I have a few more wrongs to right. I have to keep this frame of mind going. It's not that I don't sympathize or have compassion or empathize. I do. Sympathy does NOT empower & I don't wish this to be you identity. It's NOT who you are.

(14 Mar '13, 17:13) ele

@ele "inner bitch" yes love it, so feminine :)

(15 Mar '13, 03:36) ru bis

@ru bis haha . . . yes, women have the power to move the world. Love your edit & if flow takes time to study this; I'm sure it will prove helpful. It helps me.

(16 Mar '13, 02:15) ele
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

When you fail at something check what it is that you are doing and how you are doing it. If you lack confidence, think how would I act if I had confidence? How would someone act that has confidence? Next step into those shoes. Imagine yourself as that new person. Command it so if you feel you need to.


answered 13 Mar '13, 23:10

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

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