How To Use Focus Statements

Here are some Focus- Statements by Abraham for attracting a relationship. Hope they help :)

Right now your only goal is to find relief in some downstream thoughts, and so begin where you are and reach for improvement in the way you feel.

•It‘s hard to find the right mate.

•Others want me, but I don‘t want them.

•I don‘t wanna hurt their feelings, but I don‘t want to settle for less than what I want either.

Its natural that you start out with upstream thoughts, but now try to find a thought that feels better.

• Like, I really don‘t need to make every day an audition for a life partner.

•I like getting to know people for many different reasons.

•I find the people I date really interesting.

•I‘m enjoying exploring my options.

•My picture of my life partner has grown out of the dates I had over the years. Each of them has added to my picture of what I want.

•Every experience in life adds to the evolution of our ideas and desires.

•I can feel how natural this process is.

•I don‘t know why I‘ve tried to make it so complicated.

Each of these thoughts brings a greater feeling of relief thus changing your belief on the subject.

Here are from Focus-statements by Abraham for getting over the break-up of a romantic relationship to attract a new one.

I have included the specific negatives as well.

So, start where you are and reach for increasingly better feeling thoughts. For example:

•I am in a state of shock and depression. I don‘t know what to do

•I can‘t believe this has happened.

•I thought he was the one.

•Why would he leave me on like that?

•Why would he pretend that he wanted to be with me forever?

Now, see if you can move from your feeling of powerlessness. Reach for something that makes you at least feel like getting out of bed. For instance,

•This is the last time something like this will happen to me.

•I don‘t deserve to be treated like this.

•I am glad that he left because clearly he is not what I thought he was.

Negative as these thoughts are, they are giving you a feeling of relief. Keep going.

•Clearly we aren‘t right for each other.

•There is no point in wasting more time figuring that out.

•This was an extremely clarifying situation for me.

•I‘ve learned so much in such a short period of time.

•Thinking back, I can sort of feel this coming.

•At the time I didn‘t want to see it, but now I realize it had been coming.

•I am not sorry that this has happened.

•Nothing terrible has really happened here.

•It‘s not a bad thing to find out that what I really want is somewhere else.

•This relationship has helped to more clearly define who I am and what I‘m looking for.

•I feel newly energized regarding relationships.I am gonna take my time as I move forward.

•There is no urgency about figuring this out.I am actually happy to have some breathing space.

•In a strange way I‘m looking forward to what comes next.

•I know that what will come next will be better because of this relationship.

•Some day I may thank him for helping me to get clear about what I do want. However, that day is not today.

Well, maybe it is.. a little.You have to admit, you do feel better. And that is your only work. If you will continue to feel good,everything that you desire must come.

asked 15 Aug '13, 08:32

Satori's gravatar image


converted to question 15 Aug '13, 12:17

Stingray's gravatar image



@Satori - Thanks for stepping in with some useful statements. I think this statement is a biggie... :)

I really don't need to make every day an audition for a life partner

...when I stopped doing that and just started meeting the opposite sex just for the sake of enjoying meeting up and without a hidden agenda in mind, I started meeting much more compatible people with much more favorable outcomes.

(15 Aug '13, 10:06) Stingray

@Stingray- Your welcome Stingray and may I say the Focus-Statements are a great idea that work very well! :)

Yes that statement you highlighted struck a chord with me to first time I read it. Thanks:)

(15 Aug '13, 10:26) Satori

@Satori - I think this answer deserves its own "Focus Statements: Attracting A Relationship" thread. Is it okay if I convert it to one ("convert to question"), assuming you don't already have the karma points to do so?

(15 Aug '13, 10:40) Stingray

@Stingray- Yes Stingray, go ahead! If you want to edit feel free because I wasn't sure whether to include Specific Negatives or not, although I guess it may be a starting point for some? Thank you:)

(15 Aug '13, 11:16) Satori

@Satori - Now converted to a new thread :) Re: Specific Negatives - I don't really know, this is all a bit of an experiment so I'm uncertain myself if others are going to find the "Specific Negatives" useful or not, or whether those with the issue active in their lives are already "Specifically Negative" enough :) Probably need some feedback from people :)

(15 Aug '13, 12:23) Stingray

@Satori @Stingray Stingray is spot on - that line jumped out at me when I read this. I was single for a year, always sizing up every man as a potential partner, looking for Mr Right - I only met my husband when I was planning to leave town and so relaxed and just had fun.

(25 Aug '13, 05:50) Catherine
showing 1 of 6 show 5 more comments

I wanted to offer my two cents on the use of specific negatives here. I think they may be very important to include in this experiment, because we have to begin where we genuinely are. Otherwise, I'm thinking that to someone just beginning to work with these ideas, or who is feeling very low, this could feel like a list of affirmations, and may feel forced and false.

I used to be very brutal with myself about what I thought of as "the truth"; what I now see as beliefs that do not serve me, and their resulting circumstances. It can be difficult to make the first leap from a place like that.

It feels to me that perhaps the lower the vibration you begin with, the more gentle and incremental those first steps may need to be. Once you get going it gets easier - all of those good feelings do tend to snowball!



answered 24 Aug '13, 00:08

Grace's gravatar image


@Grace - The tricky thing about Specific Negatives is that they are...errr...Specific :) So that automatically cuts out a section of the "audience" when they come across them who feel that those particular specific statements don't apply to them.

For example, "My boss Joe is a pain in the neck" vs "My mother-in-law Pat is a pain in the posterior". Naturally those without Joes or Pats in their necks/posteriors are excluded from participating :)

To adequately cater for...

(24 Aug '13, 10:19) Stingray

@Grace - ...Specific Negative might then involve a great deal more complexity and I've noticed that people who are feeling bad in the moment don't have much tolerance for complexity :) Up to now, I'm suggesting that people just activate where they are more strongly since that's easy for most to do...I've noticed that most humans can complain endlessly about where they are if they don't like it :)

If you've thought of a better approach for dealing with Specific Negative, I'm all ears :)

(24 Aug '13, 10:23) Stingray

@Stingray - Hmmmmm I didn't think of that. Maybe keep them to only a very few, and narrow them down to just the universally recognizable Specific Negatives, as in your examples? Seems like that is kind of a hook to catch the attention while one is on a Rampage of Complaining. ;)

(24 Aug '13, 17:58) Grace
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

IMO there is no reason for these type of focus statements. When I was in the dating scene I just got out and started meeting people. In my experience, people were attracted to me and I never had any problems meeting people because I have a positive self image and am a happy and content person. This disposition attracted all kinds of people to my social dating circle.


answered 17 Aug '13, 01:45

mekubal's gravatar image


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