I've been on this journey now since 8 months and I've already made huge progress in raising my vibration and releasing limiting beliefs. I also noticed certain behavior patterns that I could successfully eliminate using ZPoint, EFT and just letting go of limiting beliefs. My self love and self-respect has increased as well and I have a burning desire for change. I observe myself very carefully during the day and make use of my emotional guidance system as well. I spend the majority of my days fully or almost fully in the vortex and 90% of the time I am very optimistic that everything will be fine. Also, I have total faith in the law of attraction and I know that I can have everything I want.

So far, so good. But I have noticed that I, despite all of my best efforts, still have an underlying belief that life is hard and that I just have to suffer. I know where that comes from as I've had a very difficult childhood. Even though I feel very good most of the time and I improve my vibration daily, I attract situations that make me feel very, very powerless, guilty, overwhelmed, alone, desperate, angry and scared.
Sometimes it's so worse that in those moments, I want to stop living and just want it to end. It seems to me that I am addicted to suffering but no matter what I do, things don't change (yet). I've discovered a lot of limiting beliefs like:

Life is hard and then you die. Life is just a struggle. I will never get it done. I am a loser. I can't do it. Nobody wants me. I'm unworty. I'm a bad person. I'm not good enough. Etc.

I have worked with those beliefs for months and they still feel real to me sometimes - sometimes not.

As I mentioned, I have such a strong desire for a better life, I don't know where I'm going wrong. Sometimes things get even worse, and yes, my car is battered :) But still it seems that I'm kind of stuck.

I also did ME-4 three times and it did reveal some beliefs that I had but I feel this is just to top-layer of my issues. Because shouldn't things have changed by now? I feel like I've had already cleaned up so many things - do you have any idea what is missing?

Thank you.

asked 24 Jun '15, 15:09

spacemetalfantasy's gravatar image


You wrote...

spend the majority of my days fully or almost fully in the vortex

...and also wrote...

Even though I feel very good most of the time and I improve my vibration daily, I attract situations that make me feel very, very powerless, guilty, overwhelmed, alone, desperate, angry and scared. Sometimes it's so worse that in those moments, I want to stop living and just want it to end.

In that case, it sounds to me like you're doing just fine :)

It's perfectly normal to be going through this turbulent period as your life adjusts to new better-feeling vibrational setpoints. I like to think of it as being when the scales of your life are at the balancing point, swinging wildly back and forth.

Another way of looking at it is the feeling of All Hell Breaking Loose in your life :)

Still others use terms like Dark Night of the Soul

I vaguely still remember this phase in my own life and it was not a pretty sight. The pain seemed to be never-ending and the depths of it were very deep indeed. And to make it worse, I didn't have stubbornly-positive people posting on websites like this one telling me there was a Golden Dawn looming on the horizon...mainly because the Internet didn't exist :) All I knew was that wherever I was heading, it surely had to be better than where I was.

This is a time when you especially question the metaphysical ideas that people like me yap on endlessly about and you'll feel like giving up on it all or turning your back on it all.

Funnily enough, it's often just when you're ready to finally give in that everything changes - and that's usually because in the feeling of "giving in" (surrendering), you finally release all the resistance that's been holding you back up to now.

As I said at the start, what you're going through is absolutely normal and it will definitely pass as good feelings become the "default" for your life.

Unfortunately, me typing a few words on a website like this isn't going to make you believe all that I've written above when you're going through severe emotional pain. But at least, there's enough here for you to print out this answer and throw darts at it to make you feel better :)

alt text


answered 24 Jun '15, 15:54

Stingray's gravatar image


edited 24 Jun '15, 16:04


@spacemetalfantasy - @Stingray is right, we all go thru this. My experience was painfully public, right here on IQ. People here walked with me through it - kept answering my questions and encouraging me. One day it really did just snap into place. After that point everything - my thoughts, feelings, and life began to change for the better, and it's still going on, still getting better, a few years on. There is a tipping point, and once you pass that nothing will ever be the same again. :D

(24 Jun '15, 16:30) Grace

Well said @Grace. A "tipping point" is a great way to describe the change because it can seem like nothing is happening even though you are edging closer and closer to a dramatic change. And as soon as that tipping-point tips over, it's downhill all the way into the light...I do love a good mixed metaphor :)

(25 Jun '15, 09:33) Stingray

Thank you @Stingray, your kind words have reached every fibre of my being - even though dawn is not here yet I feel very relieved. And I am very glad there are people like you who are not tired yet of telling the same stories all over again. Really appreciate your help.

(25 Jun '15, 15:34) spacemetalfantasy

@Grace thank you for your help as well. It is such a relief to actually hear that this will end - and that things really get better. I look forward to that tipping point.

(25 Jun '15, 15:36) spacemetalfantasy

@Stingray - Yes, I remember it seemed like nothing was happening, and being horribly sad and confused, but I really believed all I was reading here, and I have this bulldog tenacity... I just held on rather grimly, and kept up the work til that day hit and wow! I remember feeling elated and disoriented, because I couldn't really understand how my head had been working just one day before. What a ride! :)

(25 Jun '15, 17:26) Grace

@spacemetalfantasy - You are going to love it, I promise. Just keep going! :)

(25 Jun '15, 17:28) Grace

@stingray & @grace Does the "tipping point" happens more than once in life? Or is it just once? Some time back I felt like I had passed the "tipping point" and it was great for days, but after a while I felt like I was back before where I were. I could feel a shift in my thinking and vibration but it felt like I had to repeat everything again, but doing it again in a different vibrational place than before.

(26 Jun '15, 05:46) kakaboo

After all the 'vortex' is said to be a vibrational place that constantly shifts, so its normal to feel this way ?

(26 Jun '15, 05:46) kakaboo

@kakaboo - Yes, your Vortex is always expanding - and faster-than-ever these days for many - so even not aligning for a while is going to lead to a mini "All Hell Breaking Loose" depending on how fast you are flowing energy. The way around this is - as I repeat endlessly :) - to touch the Vortex at least once daily then you never get left too far behind. I flow some of the fastest energies of anyone I know and sometimes once a day alignments are not enough now. I'm tending towards morning...

(26 Jun '15, 05:59) Stingray

@kakaboo - ...and afternoon alignment sessions just to keep on top of things.

There will always be more major "tipping points" happening every time someone allows feeling-bad to feel "normal" in their lives again, so that their reality recondenses around that feeling-bad attitude. That's because that physical reality now has to adjust itself yet again (with all the accompanying physical upheavals) once feeling-good has become dominant again. Far easier to just stay feeling good :)

(26 Jun '15, 06:03) Stingray

@spacemetalfantasy - You're welcome. Glad it helped :)

(26 Jun '15, 06:48) Stingray
showing 2 of 11 show 9 more comments

Have you read any of Ekhart Tolle's books? They might not be your cup of tea, but they do have a lot of great information on addiction to suffering and how to rise above it. It's quite fascinating to realise that part of you actually likes or enjoys suffering. Once you recognise it in this way it's pretty easy to see it for the madness it is and let it go.

The others are right though, you just have to stick it out and the good times will increase in frequency and suddenly you'll look around and the world will look different, and you'll feel a happiness inside that you have never felt before. It will feel like coming home and all the dark moments will be a small price in comparison to what you have discovered and created. It just takes time and faith, as frustrating as that answer is.


answered 24 Jun '15, 17:26

Bluebell's gravatar image


@Bluebell thank you for your answer, it's really nice to know that it will get better. I'm not familiar with Eckhart Tolle yet but I think I will read some of his material. Do you have any specific book recommendations?

(25 Jun '15, 15:38) spacemetalfantasy

@spacemetalfantasy Try the The Power of Now or A New Earth. If you are specifically interested in addiction to suffering there is a chapter called 'The Pain Body' in A New Earth that might help. You can easily find free copies all over the net.

(25 Jun '15, 17:07) Bluebell

bluebell, has any writing of Vickor Frankl ever been looked at

(25 Jun '15, 17:19) fred

@fred Doesn't ring a bell. Who is that?

(25 Jun '15, 17:24) Bluebell

Victor wrote of human motivation and of surviving suffering, look him up

(25 Jun '15, 21:30) fred
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

As others have said, this is a necessary stage and it will pass. The good news is that this happens only when you are changing gear - so it's not a bad thing. You are advancing.

A slightly disconcerting fact (at least in my experience) is that this will happen EVERY TIME you change gear. But that's the price to pay for spiritual advancement.

For the time being consider curling up in a dark cave until the storm has passed :-)


answered 25 Jun '15, 06:42

cod2's gravatar image


edited 25 Jun '15, 06:43

yes @cod2 I very much appreciate your answer, clear and precise :)

(08 Aug '15, 11:14) jaz

I think we can all relate to this in some form or other. Basically, there are two levels of getting out of the drama-suffering cycle.One is to be so fed up and tired of drama with people and/or situations that you decide to take a new direction in life and shift your vibrations. The reason drama occurs is that we are judgemental beings and are of the opinion that we need some kind of justification to give us the excuse and motivation to change and shift. Of course, that is exhausting - and dramatic. If we are able to allow ourselves without further justification and reason to want what we want and not just say so and then, out of feelings of unworthiness and limiting beliefs, sabotage ourselves or at least create drama to a point that provides us with the justification why we cannot possibly remain in the old patterns. It is a lot easier and more peaceful to not give energy to drama, not create it to use it as a tool for ourselves, but instead sit down, think about what we really, really want and use Creation Formula to create it. (You can read about this technique, or better formula in "Creation Formula" by Marilyn Holzmann. It's totally easy and straight forward.) The formula is very simple: Emotion + Label = Experience Emotion means energy in motion, the highest of which are love, peace and joy (not to be confused with feelings!), then you decide on the label, which is, for example, owning a new car. The experience is how you want this to come about. Easy, free of debt, perfect car for my needs, etc. That's the easiest way that brings the fastest results - guaranteed drama-free. :D Life really doesn't have to be hard and things don't have to come with a big sacrifice and suffering. I hope that helps! Much love and enjoy creating with ease and speed! <3


answered 25 Jun '15, 13:45

Tirza's gravatar image


There is still some residual negative energy and momentum that needs to be cleared or dissolved, and it can get very uncomfortable and overwhelming, this is known as the spiritual detoxing phase or chemicalizing, As there may possibly be many layers of limiting beliefs to uncover and change, there may be periods of intense negative emotions or the need for solitude and even isolation, everybody's experience is different depending on how long they've held on to their limiting beliefs, fears, or suffering. The good news is you're pointed in the right direction as persistence and perseverance are paramount to success, this period of darkness is necessary so that you can blast through to the other side stronger and more fearless, it truly IS only temporary. How this is done [clearing/changing] will be entirely up to you, [techniques, processes, methods] as what works or resonates best with you will ensure your success. This can be a very uncomfortable process so be as easy on yourself as much as possible, you may try very hard to suppress the negative emotions, or even fight [resist] them, but just know that they are surfacing for a reason, so that they can be cleared or dissolved for changing. Once the process of clearing/dissolving the negative/limiting beliefs has been completed, you can begin to focus on your intents [desires] with little to no resistance, more purer and positive emotion, over time gaining positive momentum, then your physical reality will begin to reflect your newfound positivity back to you in the form of vibrational matches, [physical manifestations] You have much to look forward to my friend, Godspeed!


answered 25 Jun '15, 23:13

Kreatr's gravatar image


In bluebells answer a couple of phrases with reference to Ekhart Tolle

"part of you actually likes or enjoys suffering" ... "great information on addiction to suffering and how to rise above it" ... spacemetalfantasy says "it seems to me that I am addicted to suffering"... hmm ... very interesting :)

Who is bluebell, Ekhart Tolle, spacemetalfantasy ? They're in my story space, they're outside of me, they're nothing to do with me. I'm in here in my inner space.

So what do I think about suffering? well I don't like suffering. What do I feel about suffering? a little bit's ok even pleasureable, a lot is painful and it's disageable.

then there's "creation formula" by Marilyn Holzmann, "emotion + label = experience emotion" ... I'm not familiar with her writings, and in any case again the works of Marilyn Holzmann are in my story space.

In my experience I have the original energy experience which I like to describe as raw energy ...


answered 24 Jun '15, 23:23

jaz's gravatar image


edited 26 Jun '15, 09:57

perhaps past decisions play
a role here, if made in a
hurry out of fear it comes
back as mental anguish


answered 12 Aug '15, 16:37

fred's gravatar image


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