I have a bad pattern in my life that keeps repeating, it's been 10 years since I keep seeing the manifestation of it into my life.

Each time I manage to be constantly in a good feeling place I fall in love and then the person with which I fall in love will get married with someone else.

The strange thing regarding this, is that each time it feels like the right thing to do...and the drama follows after a very happy period.

Then I will struggle for a couple of years with depression, anger , etc and when I manage to get in that high flying place again I fall in love again and the circle repeats.

Since this keeps repeting it's probably something that I need to solve but I ddin't manage until now, even though I have made great improvements related to the way I feel.

It repeted three times until now and it makes me doubt if I should enter a future possible relationship.

I have thought recently that it might be a self esteem issue and I remember some episodes from my childhood that might have caused that.

like: I was the youngest from my family and sometimes, my aunt which didn't appreciate me at that time, would forget to fill my plate as everybody else's at lunch This would make me feel very insignificant at that time

But even being conscious of that it still happened to me.

I would be happy to hear your thoughts regarding this.

asked 01 Dec '17, 18:49

White%20Elf's gravatar image

White Elf

edited 01 Dec '17, 18:50


There are many details missing in your post so its not very easy to answer this...

but from what i picked up, i think affirmations or belifs like these will be beneficial: "im number one"/ "im the first"/ "im the chosen one"/ "im focused only on myself " /"im always winning"/i love to win"/"i dont care about others wins, i want to win"/ "no one is more important to me than me"/ "I choose me"/ there are'nt conflict in my life or mind. what i know is what i want"/ other people darama is non of my business"/ "im not afraid to be successful"(i recommend to sit with this one and try to imagine success)/ "i creat my reality and chose to be right here and i love it" / "everything i want is right here and coming and what i dont want I made gone":) hope it'll help


answered 02 Dec '17, 03:33

myself's gravatar image


thanks, I can feel some of the affirmations above are very helpful for me, this two were popping in my mind a lot also before: "no one is more important to me than me"/ "I choose me"

(03 Dec '17, 06:26) White Elf

thats great, glad i could halp:)

(04 Dec '17, 18:04) myself

@White Elf, the first step to releasing a pattern is to disrupt the flow, so it can't run, thus it can't be a pattern at all. This means you need to separate it from the story, the narrative, which is equal to the pattern itself. What composes the pattern is individual building blocks, your beliefs.

The absolute best way I've found to disable the narrative is to do Focus Blocks. http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/5901/manifesting-experiment-2-the-focus-blocks-method-manifest-what-you-want-by-deliberately-feeling-better-about-it

Once you've identified a pattern, never look at it as a pattern again. It's a one-time recognition only. If you wanted to tear down a building, would you continually focus on the entire building, or just how to dismantle all the different components of the building as easily and effectively as possible?

I always numbered my focus blocks. This worked really well for me because not only did I break everything up into sound bytes, but I got constant feedback on how big or small an issue was in the moment.

I can't recommend Focus Blocks enough. Inherent in the process is everything you need: Acceptance of where you are, identification of what you want, discovery of limiting beliefs, and conscious movement up the emotional guidance scale. The nature of the process and the results are one and same.


answered 05 Dec '17, 14:49

JMA's gravatar image


Hi White elf, Hope you are well. i can understand your concern about the patterns that keep repeating in your life. i have the same problem, There are patterns in my life that i have not been able to understand or solve. What doesn't help is the sad lack of information available. I have found from experience that no one is interested or just doesn't understand the patterns. I do not believe it is you. i do not believe you are responsible for what is happening. I believe there is an external force at work that we have yet to understand. My life is full of patterns and doesn't show any signs of it been any other way or changing. Everything i look at in my life has a pattern to it and i don't know why. I haven't been able to come up with anything that puts my mind at rest and explain what it all means. we are told time and time again that we are in control and can do what we want. I don't agree. If you look at my life it suggests we don't have control. if we have control over what we do etc then there wouldn't be any patterns. There will be a reason why you have the patterns you do have and you have to do something. The problem is knowing what. I recently started to keep a journal which in time will help. It's a star anyway and better than doing nothing. Hope this helps Chris


answered 02 Dec '17, 08:07

Chris%20Fowler's gravatar image

Chris Fowler


@Chris Fowler I am sure we are in control of our own life and I think this quote of Abraham Hicks explains this best : "you are so free that you can choose bondage". I am just not always sure how to release a bad pattern that I have practiced a lot.

(03 Dec '17, 06:32) White Elf

when a thought is ideate,
it takes a life of its own,
looking to complete its
cycle, inward try to seek


answered 04 Dec '17, 20:00

fred's gravatar image


I am assuming you are now again frieshly in a period of depression and anger.

I am guessing that you hold a belief along the lines of not being able to be happy without someone to "complete" you.

A happy relationship, however, is two single people who are already complete merging into a couple that is also complete. Two incomplete single people will merge into an incomplete couple full of conflict. Of course, you can also use that to grow, but the less conflicted you already are about yourself the easier that will be.

So I recommend, strongly: Use your upcoming period of depression and anger to clean house. Get really, really serious about spiritual practice, and chose a systematic one- that is the reason I use Huna, it is a body of knowledge that has been proven for thousands of years and is still flexible enough to incorporate everything I have learned from other teachers.

I also enjoy what I have learned from Bashar very much- Abraham-Hicks, also, but there is more there I feel conflicted about, but that's a personal thing, the teachings seem sound.

If you're a thinking, logical type, structuring who you are like this really helps:

  1. Chose a basic philosophy. I use the one from Huna: "The world is what you think it is".
  2. Chose a purpose. You could be there to save dolphins, to make art, to love people, to make an art form of excessive partying, to procreate, to improve the way children are raised, to be an example of joyful nihilism... or a combination of these and many more. The key here is to go for what's exciting.
  3. Chose Goals. Get specific in what you will be doing to achieve your purpose.
  4. Make plans. These could involve magic, like imagination, and also action. If they fail, feel good about that, and try something else.

This being more deliberate about certain things that you intend to do. This will get all your energy moving.


answered 08 Dec '17, 05:04

cmc's gravatar image



thank you @cmc. I think I was missing organizing the vibrational work :) I will try that from now on.

(09 Dec '17, 05:33) White Elf

Stingray has said it; many have said it: what we focus on continues....good or bad! So, keep telling this story this way, and it will go on, a nightmare of a never ending tale.

@cmc's advice was dead on. I just wanted to say that I have had to rewrite my own story; I joke about being a Phoenix, rising over and over again from the ashes. Progress, not perfection. Also, I have had the great privilege of advising young women along the way. They are always wanting true love, and want to go racing after it full tilt. I tell them to concentrate on themselves instead. If you are trying to be the best you, love will find you.

Yes, rewrite that bad script with its bad ending. Say, it's a process. I will get this. I can see it happening now. Be wildly positive.

I just wanted to add my two cents.

Good luck,



answered 11 Dec '17, 20:45

Jaianniah's gravatar image


thank you @Jaianniah, this is very helpful for me :)

(29 Dec '17, 14:06) White Elf
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