I feel like depression is almost a societal condition. Many people aren't taught to follow their joy, they are taught to grind and make money often times at the expense of their joy. How does a depressed person get happy?
asked 17 Mar '10, 09:19
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Get to the root of the problem.
For me, Inward Quest means to look within my own mind and allow the answers that are always there waiting, to come through from the universal mind / consciousness into my individual mind / consciousness.
While choosing better thoughts will bring you out of your depression, if you don't get to the root cause, your depression will return again and again. A better way is to get to the root cause of depression and deal with it once and for all!
I guess my work at this time is to ruffle a few feathers by stating that depression is really self pity masquerading as depression. More attention can be gained from others by being depressed than from feeling sorry for yourself. So it follows that the next question is: what's the root of self pity?
Self pity can be traced back to self importance. And what is it in you that constantly needs the attention gained from depression to cover up its feeling of emptiness or incompleteness and lack of love and hence, bolster its feeling of importance?
Your ego. Yes, your ego will go to great lengths in any direction to fulfill its need of more attention. Your ego, if left unchecked, will stop at nothing to fulfill its need, including taking action that is ultimately detrimental to your body.
So the best advice for a depressed person is:
1) Ask yourself: what is causing my depression? Then do what it takes to quiet your mind and see what answers come to you.
2) Learn all you can about the ego and what makes it tick.
3) Move beyond your ego with its anger and fear, its need for judgment, approval, control, being right and its total lack of love. And into a life of understanding, freedom from fear, love, peace and bliss 8-)
Here are the names of some people who explain ego in great detail:
Deepak Chopra - Eckhart Tolle - Jiddu Krishnamurti
answered 19 Mar '10, 06:16
damn that was a great answer ^5 Eddie
(22 Mar '10, 21:13) ursixx
This should not be the top answer.
(13 Mar '13, 21:27) flowsurfer
@flowsurfer - Your statement is meaningless...
(14 Mar '13, 06:39) Eddie
@flowsurfer, you ever noticed how your name contradicts the nature of most of your comments which reek of nothing but resistance? Wishful thinkin' meets the reality. Lmao
(14 Mar '13, 06:45) CalonLan
@flowsurfer i'm curious, i'd love to know how you feel about this question
(14 Mar '13, 06:47) ru bis
How do you learn about your ego??
I don't know how to do that.
(14 Mar '13, 11:29) Evolutionary High
@Evolutionary High, when we feel sad and needy for love, when we feel insecure and need approval, when we are focused on what we are not getting; that is the ego manifesting itself
(14 Mar '13, 12:20) ru bis
@flowsurfer Whether this is the top answer or not - it's YOUR answer. " by stating that depression is really self pity masquerading as depression. More attention can be gained from others by being depressed than from feeling sorry for yourself. So it follows that the next question is: what's the root of self pity? Self pity can be traced back to self importance. And what is it in you that constantly needs the attention gained from depression"
(14 Mar '13, 16:01) ele
@eddie - I just love you. With the exception of a medical issue such as a hormonal imbalance causing depression; this is the TOP answer.
(14 Mar '13, 16:03) ele
@ele This is all evading the context of depression. For starters, if the self is not given importance, what is? Yes, depression is self-pity and often (though not always) involves seeking attention. From there people judge it without asking the question of why. Pity is the feeling that someone needs help. Self-pity is a cry for help from a part of yourself that feels helpless. People in self-pity try to be the ones to help themselves and when they fail it is natural that they look beyond.
(14 Mar '13, 16:20) flowsurfer
@ele People in depression are not seeking the attention of people; they are not just doing it for sympathy. They are seeking the attention of whatever can help them and usually the idea in their mind is basically of God or even themselves, they are trying to tell themselves they need to change, to focus on that. I know, many times I have been too ashamed to be depressed around people because of precisely this attitude of disdain but still cried alone. The answer lacks understanding and love.
(14 Mar '13, 16:26) flowsurfer
@flowsurfer the symbolism of the 'ear' - can you hear me? Do you see me? Here I am. Can't you hear me? Here I am. Can't you hear me? Yes,I hear you. We all can hear you. We all see you. We all can read. Your questions are all the same; from the first to the last. Add the possibility of suicide & I feel manipulated. I was referring to the ATTENTION factor more than the self pity.
(14 Mar '13, 16:37) ele
@ele "I was referring to the ATTENTION factor more than the self pity." - I don't understand. I cannot speak for others but you have no idea how often I feel a desperate need to reach out to someone for help only to remember how pointless that is and turn back inward with a deep sense of hopelessness. I imagine the same happens with others that get the disdainful "it's just a cry for attention" type of label attached to them. Yes, it's a cry for attention. That's the point! It's not a bad thing!
(14 Mar '13, 16:44) flowsurfer
@flowsurfer Sorry - put that on the wrong thread; I think. I used to be so much better at multi tasking or I really need glasses & I don't have to time to refresh windows or be here. I want to get back to 'pleasant' mode. Instead of viewing my comment as mean - try getting angry. I'm going...
(14 Mar '13, 16:51) ele
@ele You are right that sympathy does not empower. Sympathy is more pleasant than hatred but it grows increasingly annoying. The above answer is worse, it is disdain. There is a part of the self that needs attention and Eddie says "deny it"; but the cry will just grow stronger because it is like the hunger of a little baby. You can ignore his cry for attention but all you'll get out of it is a dead baby. You don't have to help a depressed person but don't tell that person the above. It is mean.
(14 Mar '13, 17:02) flowsurfer
@flowsurfer obviously Eddie's answer is not "a one shoe fits all" type answer. Not only can we see & hear your pain; many of us can feel your pain. I'm trying to listen to what you're NOT saying. I get very odd vibes when I read your posts. Cal's right; you are a contradiction. You're screaming to be heard & you're screaming for help; but there's no emotion, no fire, lifeless w/o flow. I don't sense any desire or passion behind your words. You are well read, articulate, intelligent &...
(14 Mar '13, 21:33) ele
.... & considering you had a career in politics w/o a HS diploma; pretty amazing. For whatever reason you are choosing to suffer. What do you fear? Yourself? Your power? Life? Why don't you feel you deserve more? Why are you punishing yourself? Forever reason, you're choosing to stay where you are. I'm glad you have Cal figured out. I see CalonLan as a beautiful abstract painting;multi faceted. I wrote this w/o thinking about your analogy. "dead baby" it's a choice. Start w/ a decision.
(14 Mar '13, 21:35) ele
@flowsurfer I'm pretty sure I have not said 'deny it' anywhere. Besides I'm referring to when an ego becomes negative. I wonder why you choose to interpret things that way?
I have said understand ego. Only you can do that my friend. No one else cannot enter your mind and do it for you. Only you can grasp what it means to move beyond the control of your ego. And to do that you must begin seeing it from a higher perspective entirely...
(14 Mar '13, 22:04) Eddie
@Eddie, like ego is your left eye. Your no-self is your right eye. Close one, you don't see the full picture. Gotta keep them both open to get it.
can reject your eye, because it provides different way of seeing things from your other eye?
Even this higher perspective/self is stupid if it's the only thing you accept. If you reject lower perspective/self. High's no good without the low.
(15 Mar '13, 04:25) CalonLan
Just btw,think of why people meditate.Going to the root,trying to escape the world and various aspects of it that make people go crazy.In meditation then,they seek their peace.
There's no difference between Buddhist monk and drunken bum.They both do the same,in different ways.Escape the world - absurd.
Maybe THIS WORLD is NOT the problem.Not maybe,but for sure it's not.It's the perception of it.Then running away from the world,is running away from yourself.Denial at its best, can you say?!lol
(15 Mar '13, 04:30) CalonLan
@Evolutionary High - Nice to see you! I just saw your comment and realized I want to understand more about what it means when someone here refers to "the ego". I'm betting the answers are also here on IQ. May I ask, did you find any threads that you'd recommend as especially helpful? Much appreciated. :)
(25 Mar '13, 23:07) Grace
showing 2 of 21 show 19 more comments
Seek help! Yes seek help for no one shoud go through a depression alone. You need someone in your corner that will be a shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough. If there is no one dont worry for you can allways see a councilor or a religious or spiritual elder or teacher and by sharing your problem you halve it. Just knowing there is someone out there that understands what you are going through makes the depression easier to bear.
There are many reasons for depression therefore it's important to seek medical help to find out if it is due to physical or psychological reasons. This helps to acertain which treatment is the best for your type of depression.
Good nutrition is a must especially B complax vitamins, magnesium, Omega 3 faty acids and some aminoacids as depresion can be a result of a faulty or inedequate diet.
Exercise is the best thing for depression so please, please do go to gym or walk or run or dance. The important thing is to get moving.
To be socialy active is also very important so if you dont have a circle of friends it is time to make some and yes it is hard for a depressed person but it is worth all the effort u put into it and more. People that have a good circle of friends are less likly to get depressed and if they do they have a ready made support system. Go to a social club or go for art or other lessons where you can meet people.
Do you have a pet? Pets are great for giving love and they bring the love we have within us conscious to our hearts so that we can snap out of depresion sooner. If your type of depresion is so bad that you can't even look after yourself let alone a pet than a toy teddy bear or doggy or kitty or whatever you like might help for you could tell it all the problems of the world without getting rejected. This is especially good for a depressed child but I have noticed it works just as well on the eldery.
Keep a greatful journal and write down some things you are thankful for every day which could change the way you think and get you out of your depression. I'm thankfull for the sunshine or rain or the food or whatever.
Listen to only happy music and watch comedies.
If all else fails there is allways your faith in God. No matter your religion talk to your God and give God all your problems to carry for you and tell God you are depressed and can't cope anymore. Leave your depression in Gods capable hands and you will be suprised at the miracles that can happen.
Hopes this helps
answered 22 Jul '11, 16:52
I think very few people realize that this is the cure for depression...Well done!
(14 Mar '13, 11:11) Jaianniah
@Jai I agree, this is a very valuable answer - I read it this summer & passed it on to someone who suffers from apathy type depression & now I can vote it up.
(14 Mar '13, 21:40) ele
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments
Depression, I was there. I definitely think exercise, eat healthy and change your thought's can help. I know it's hard but,let me tell you a story.
There was a guy who he had an incurable sickness and would die in a month as doctors told him. So he put's himself in a bedroom and watch charlie Chaplin films for one week. Doctors saw him and in disbelief realized his sickness was gone, I mean totally gone.
I decided to do the same to see if it works ( I was really depressed for losing my apartment ). In other words something I worked so hard and invested with my brother, and for not having proper paper work, was taken away by him ( In my mind I thought our agreement with words is more than any contract in the world ) But unfortunetly money changes people and as he is so rich and can have the best attorneys, I'm not gone deal with it now. But in time and will get my apartment back.
Also be just content for what you have right now and have a goal. Think there must be a good reason that I'm in this situation, because you are surrounded with angels and nothing bad will ever happen to you.
Funny films really helped ( daijan napelon ) and still does. Watch bridesmaid, I was depressed again last night and watch this film and laugh so much that i feel so much better today. Oh don't forget your morning exersise, why morning? Hello, that's when you start your day and your thought's starts to swift as time goes by and negativity builds up, but with exersise you'll be alot less negative and you might even think you are so stupid for letting such a messed up feeling ruin a beautiful day. P.S. Exersise makes a person stronger mind/and body. Trust me. Then no one or nothing can mess with you. I think if you don't work out your muscles you are fcuck ed. French connection. lol.
answered 27 May '11, 14:17
Love your French connection Sohalia :-) recently read of an internet site http://www.thefuckitlife.com/ . not sure if it was one of our members who mentioned it but if so thanks for the heads up :-)
(14 Mar '13, 20:57) Starlight
v good advise!
(15 Mar '13, 05:28) abrahamloa
I have answered a similar question on the site before so I am copying and pasting my answer below as in my opinion, it answers your question.
answered 17 Mar '10, 19:10
One thing that helps me is to acknowledge the feels of sadness. However, the trick is to be very careful on how these feelings are handle. Since I am a person of faith in the Supreme God, I give it all to Him. I used to be a depressed person for many years. I had a very hard life since childhood and I did not know that there was a world in which people could actually be happy. However, through the help from reading wonderful books and exploring different views I found that we are the only ones who can change the way we feel (Sometimes it might take medication). It is not easy to get rid of feelings of depression. It takes a lot of work and a lot of willingness, at least for me it does. I have learned that by acknowledging my feelings instead of denying they exist, I am able to slide back into my state of happiness. For me, happiness is being at peace and harmony with myself. When depression hits, it is very hard to concentrate on anything, especially meditation. Without meditation, life can be very chaotic. I find that if I try to be happy and ignore my feelings of sadness, they stick around for a while. However, if I make a conscious effort to acknowledge those feelings and give them to God, they go away. Now days when those feelings come back, they last only a few moments or maybe a couple of hours. The Secret is to be willing to work at it.
answered 17 Mar '10, 20:35
I agree with the other answers and just want to add that depression is a signal that the thoughts are not in alignment with the Universe. This condition can be easily reversed by changing the thought. It is allways good to have some affirmations handy that can help to bring you back in allignment. It is amazing how this works and how quickly it works. Remeber that the "I" is perfect so when you are making affirmations, you are reminding yourself of who you truly are. And this is the reason why people get depressed because with all the distractions in this physical world we forget where we came from and who we are. So it is very important to have daily reminders whether through Prayer, Meditation, Affirmations or any way that you can get there. Even those of us who are spiritually conscious tend to get distracted at times but we can pull ourselves back quickly because we have so much investment in this aspect of our beingness.
answered 18 Mar '10, 00:35
Your not the only one, everyone gets to this stage, once, twice or even more, people make mistakes, people find it hard to understand thing, we eventually get it, making big mistakes and learning from them makes us perfect, so what ever is causing ur problem, can be easily fix, just believing yourself, go back see what hav been through, it doesn't have to end here, cause you should be proud of everything you have done.. Ur a human being just like me, just like the people next door to you, like everybody u see, don't judge yourself for being someone different that u don't think deserves to be here, cause u do, ur perfect, ur what ever u say u are, just smile, doesn't seem like it will do much but it will :) thanks :)
answered 22 Jul '11, 14:18
The danger with blaming all depression on "ego" is that we ultimately live in a society quick to eradicate the salvation of faith and positive thinking; suddenly we find ourselves in black holes of the mind—unable to shake ourselves free from its gripping tyranny. Sadly, it is not the ego who destroys you—nor is it overcoming your ego that will save you.
The only true way to save yourself is to learn what it means to be kind to yourself—and to others. To hold compassion in all instances; that a mourning face is like lack of exercise: No, it is not your fault—but in the meantime, choose happiness and don't give up. Keep on ... Movin' on!
answered 14 Mar '13, 13:32
."be kind to yourself " I like that
(07 Aug '13, 16:55) ursixx
This answer is marked "community wiki".
answered 09 Aug '13, 03:15
All this LOA talk is bs. The more you follow your joy the more you are aware of things that pull you out of it. So you need to be still and ACCEPt all THE feelings that are being stired up in you and observe them objectively. Once you get out of your own way, meaning stop feeling sorry for yourself, you will be able to feel more of who you are.
answered 22 Jul '11, 17:19
Precious, precious time can be wasted if you only try to employ LOA to solve any problem in your life. I agree with you, wildlife. What about the Law of Action ? I believe that to get up, get ready and take action is worth ten thousand times more that only sitting and saying affirmations or visualizing. BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT and DO IT, that is the law of manifesting. Positive thinking does not mean fantasizing about happy endings but also thinking of what can go wrong.
(09 Aug '13, 08:46) Aryanna
Unfortunately money runs our world and joy doesn't matter.
We do enjoy the times we don't have to make money, times like being at a park or a lake. However every moment spent at leisure enjoying life cost you money you could have made to buy food, gas or pay bills. With this on your mind that time wasted is money lost it does make it hard to enjoy a park or lake. So joy does become something to put away because we have no time to stop and smell the roses because time is money.
But this backfires and we feel trapped and wonder why on earth did we even choose to come down to earth! So now no time for joy becomes life sucks and then you die. You have to wonder what the point of it all is for anyway. We're born, we go to school because we have to, we grow up and go to work because we have to, we have bills to pay maybe even get sued by debt collectors because we have to. Then we die eventually because we have to. It makes me wonder if when we die we look back on life and think what was the point of all that?
The one thing we can still enjoy is the one we love, at least that is not a forced have to event.
answered 01 Aug '13, 11:17
@Wade I'm confused - don't you believe in the LOA? I know you are down right now. My offer to help @jai with her financial aid issues in regards to schooling was genuine. If she hasn't figured out how to get her grants out of default & back in good standing for further aid - perhaps I can help. All she has to do is ask...
(05 Aug '13, 18:25) ele
@ele Oh yes, I'm being sued by Capital One. I owe Chase far more actually. I can't afford to go bankrupt, I was originally going to, but couldn't come up with the money to. I have never been sued before I have no money so I may lose my freedom, I don't know but I'll find out at the end of the month. As for helping Jai... That you so much ele! Ill be sure to tell Jai. :-)
(06 Aug '13, 12:50) Wade Casaldi
OMGoodness! @Wade - Breathe... Relax ... You are NOT going to jail. You will NOT lose your freedom. Luckily you live in a state where credit card debt is NOT a reason to garnish wages. Your wages are 100% exempt. I assume you have been served with papers & a court date has been set. If your creditor wins, a judgment will be awarded. This grants a creditor the legal right to seize bank accts & place a lien on properties you 'own' or may own in the future including vehicles. (to cont)
(06 Aug '13, 22:31) ele
(cont) If you own your home, they will NOT force a sale. If you do NOT have clear title on your vehicle; they will become 2nd lien holder. Have you tried talking to them?
(06 Aug '13, 22:34) ele
@ele But that is the reason I figured I'll go to jail. I don't own a house or a car, my bank account right now has around $5.00 in it, I have no savings. So I can't pay, I'm going in without a lawyer since I can't afford one. I guess they could sell everything I ever owned that might pay some. My cell phone is the most expensive thing I own right now.
BTW yes I have a regestered letter saying I have to show up to Court to be sued August 23rd.
(07 Aug '13, 00:59) Wade Casaldi
@Wade You will NOT go to jail. There is NO such thing as a debtor's prison in the US. They do NOT take personal property unless it is a repo & that would be via a store. There is a S of L on Liens - but they are renewable. They can take assets you buy or inherit in the future. If you have a vehicle or motorcycle - let me know . You did not leave the bank any other choice be. I'm sure they tried calling you. Have you tried talking to them? When they get their judgment - best NOT have (A)
(07 Aug '13, 01:27) ele
(B) penny in the bank or kiss it goodbye. If you are looking for an affordable or free attorney - try calling your local or state bar association. Explain your situation - ask if there is a volunteer or pro bono lawyer project or a free legal workshop or self help clinic available in your area. If nothing else, you should be able to find an attorney to meet with you at a reduced fee - usually under $50. If there is a law school in your area, it's possible they may have free legal clinics
(07 Aug '13, 01:28) ele
(C) where students provide free legal help & are supervised by law professors. I doubt if they will take your case; but you could get some free advice &/or take advantage of an attorney who agrees to take a reduced fee.. You better talk to Chase about reducing your interest - possibly to zero if you close your acct. Most people don't show up. I'm not sure if the state of PA tacks on a surcharge if you do not show up at a civil hearing. Something you may want to check out if you have to work.
(07 Aug '13, 01:30) ele
@Wade -- I hope you did not miss the part where I said your wages would not be garnished. That alone should make you feel a bit better. It will be ok ... You will be responsible for all legal fees if they win. Did they follow proper protocol & if they didn't - you would need an attorney to fight it? They can't get anything if you do not have it & this (the judgment) will stop most of the harassment. In many ways it's just a formality for the Bank. It does take a toll on your credit tho.
(07 Aug '13, 01:39) ele
@Wade Most people don't show up for court because they do not have the money to pay an attorney. If I were you, I would go. If not, some courts will tack on a default judgment of some sort.
(07 Aug '13, 02:26) ele
@Wade Casaldi Money runs our world if you believe that. Change your thoughts Wade .There is an answer, there is money, it will work out it always does! If you believe that! Believe the opposite so that will be the result. Let it go! I have been thru that storm that you are in and there is sunshine at the other side. KNOW THAT! Don't get hung up on the "problem" focus on the solutions.
(07 Aug '13, 02:31) ursixx
@Ele-OMG!!! Would you really consider helping me??? Oh, Ele, it would be so wonderful to finish my degree... a dream come true. Thank you. Bless you! Jai
(07 Aug '13, 10:56) Jaianniah
@Jai - under your question - in the comments
@Wade Remember there is a difference between a civil & a criminal case. If it was a criminal case; yes you could go to jail. It's not - it's a civil action.
(08 Aug '13, 00:14) ele
@ele thank you so much, I feel better and will follow your advice. :-)
(08 Aug '13, 06:06) Wade Casaldi
Your welcome @Wade. Ask for verification of debt & make sure you do all the necessary paperwork. Read the summons carefully. You may also contact the banks attorney & see if you can work out an agreement instead of going to trial. Do not allow them to intimidate you. If they have threatened you with jail - file a police report. Know your rights & report all violations.
(08 Aug '13, 09:34) ele
Wade, money is good. Making them feels good and having them feels even better. The wealthy know a secret and that is not LOA; it is what they do, consistently, not only what they think about. Yes, the positivity of their thinking gives them the energy TO DO WHAT MANIFESTS MONEY. Please, do not let your finances to chance and learn how to balance leisure with making money and spending with saving. I have been through money hell, in spite of LOA, till i've learnt.
(09 Aug '13, 09:13) Aryanna
showing 2 of 16 show 14 more comments
The cause of depression might not be that you have attracted it ! Sometimes good things happen but shit (forgive me this word, please) happens too, things that we did not "attract" or choose. While life can present you with difficult situations we all have different ways of dealing with them according to each one's psychological profile, experience, mental and physical health. We form psychological patterns, the ways we react to life's events.
However, our inner experiences are not only the results of what happens to us; they come from the physical interaction of hormones, neurons and neurotransmitters, this means our moods are influenced by the biochemistry of the body and brain. Neither free will, nor choice can do much about it, this is why humanity is having a hard time with depression. If you read about the personality changes that occur in people whose parts of the brain are affected you will understand what i mean. Hormonal function can affect your inner state as well as injuries, accidents, tumors, surgeries on different parts of the physical brain. Medication can have a very strong impact and bring about depression: it happened to me and this is why i know exactly what i am talking about ( had treatment for anxiety that caused me depression instead).
The good news is that we can change our psychological patterns and treat our physical brain.
If you start believing that your depression is because of LOA that limits greatly your chances of eliminating the causes(physical, or outside causes or both of them). When you are depressed because of your finances you want to get rid of the depression but you must also do something to improve your finances which caused the depression to start with. Money is the cause of your depression, let's say, and depression is the symptom your body displays. Being in a depressed state is not a good platform from where you start solving your money issues, depression is oriented inward, it saps energy. So you have to deal with the depression and to prevent it from coming back sort out the real cause that produced it ( finances, relationships, work, brain health).
answered 09 Aug '13, 08:32
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Enjoy! And when you had enough of it, you'll go look for something else to be depressed about.Lolol