I have been thinking about this particular topic for some time now. I would like to have better relationships within my family. I have had a kind of falling out with them but i want to take it to a place of harmony, love and acceptance.

I have become better at appreciating my family members. However, I am experiencing a stumbling block. Like I would be thinking about good times spent with someone and how much love, care and adoration I received from them and this would make me feel really good, but, the very next moment I would remember how we are no longer talking and how they must loath and hate me now.

How do I stop stifling my happy moments with beliefs like this? I do also think that more than anything else these are my beliefs about how they must be feeling towards me, though I dont know how to flip it around. Their beliefs about me seem to me 'Real' and I feel hesitancy about trying to change my beliefs about their beliefs, it makes me feel it would not work as I can not change their beliefs and also it feels wrong some how as in I am trying to get them to like me when its not their desire.

I am not trying to change them, but still it feels as if I am trying to when i feel happy by remembering good times. Its this confusion that is causing me discomfort.

I hope you guys would be help me out of this one, all suggestions and insights are so very welcome.

asked 19 Jan '13, 16:30

dreamersmiles's gravatar image


edited 19 Jan '13, 20:17

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Die alone you will, born alone you were. Golden chambers keep you still, shine of gold makes you stare.

(19 Jan '13, 19:34) CalonLan

@Satori, thank you for the link. Though it made me uncomfortable watching it, does this mean I would have to put in extra effort. The mere action of listening to it stirred something really bad in me and I had to walk away from it as I am in middle of transition in the physical reality and am unable to devote as much time to pondering on it for long. did you feel uncomfortable when you listened it first time and when you started the process?

(21 Jan '13, 18:44) dreamersmiles
showing 0 of 3 show 3 more comments

Yesterday , I watched Bashar's Brick Walls Beliefs , here's the link to the first video you'll see the others as you go on , I watched up to and including 13 , they are all around 9 mins duration a few shorter .


I believe these are more than worth the time invested in watching them as you are given a tool to understanding how beliefs have power over us and so to either continue on as is or make new choices .

Once you understand the mechanism it is the open door to freedom , there is no turning back from this knowledge .

My thanks to the fellow member who had the link in another question , I will be eternally gratefull to you my friend for this awesome gift ♥♥♥


answered 20 Jan '13, 21:33

Starlight's gravatar image



@Starlight, thank you for the links, I would look into them!

(21 Jan '13, 00:11) dreamersmiles

simple move from belief to truth and love,a heart not made of stone(a heart that does not judge) you received love from them what do you give them? to get them to like you,you should like your self first. did i told you the truth? and if they are the one judging they should do the same. if that is the case and they do not want to stop judging and being the darkness and wanting to have the good role and wanting to control everything and blaming you for their own action and making inequity you have free will to still try to help them,make them wake up or tell them you will not see them anny more.i never knew you.


answered 19 Jan '13, 20:50

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 21 Jan '13, 19:45

@white tiger, what is the truth?

(19 Jan '13, 20:56) dreamersmiles

@dreamersmiles truth is when duality is solved and the darkness go away. you think they loath and hate you that comes from you.do you like your self?if you judge them like this they will do the same.then should you not like your self first and stop judging?

(19 Jan '13, 22:20) white tiger

@white tiger, thank you very much for this answer, quite simplistic but gives me a lot to ponder upon.

(20 Jan '13, 10:16) dreamersmiles
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Their beliefs about me seem to me 'Real' and I feel hesitancy about trying to change my beliefs about their beliefs, it makes me feel it would not work as I can not change their beliefs and also it feels wrong some how as in I am trying to get them to like me when its not their desire.

First of all remember that you can't really change anyone. It's an illusion. You cannot even change their desires or beliefs. But you can attract the part of them that feels good to you.

Almost nobody is always friendly or always mean. But you can attract the friendly part (say of your family members) just as the mean part of them. It's your choice to attract what you want through your thoughts.

Recently i wanted to bring my car to an autoshop. So i asked 2 friends of mine if they could recommend one. They both suggested the same autoshop but said that the repairman was very annyoing and choleric. So they warned me. But i decided that i wanted to attract his good self. So i neutralized my prejudices with the sedona method and thought of some positive aspects of him and expected him to be nice and ultra friendly.

There was not the shadow of a doubt in me that he would be anything else than friendly. And actually he was very polite and amusing. We talked and even enjoyed ourselves very much :). I realized that he would talk differently to other people. But to me he was nice. So you see you can always attract the best parts in people.

If you think that your family probably hates you then probably you will attract that hating part of them if there is any. But even if there is any part that hates you, you don't have to attract it. No one is one-dimensional and has just one trait. Choose what part you would like to attract.

I am not trying to change them, but still it feels as if I am trying to when i feel happy by remembering good times. Its this confusion that is causing me discomfort.

Try to change them. Really try it! - You will realize that you can't! You can just attract the part of them that you like.

So here is what i would do. Clear your fears and wants with the sedona method and then think of positive aspects and happy moments with them.

  • Think of your happy moments with them. When beliefs come up that distract your happy moments and the good feeling, first identify them. Don't do this mentally with words and thinking. Do it in a feeling way. Feel yourself into your heart/chest area. Then immediately welcome your negative beliefs/feelings as if they were your best friends. Let them be. Feel into your body and your heart area and identify where the feeling sits. How big is it in inches or cm? What shape can you feel? Are there many different parts? Where are they exactly? Where in your body is the edge of your feeling? Then stay in your body feeling your negative emotions and do the sedona method and clear them. Do this until all of it your negative feelings are gone for good. Next
  • Clear your fear of rejection
  • Clear your fear of being judged by your family
  • Clear your wanting to be loved by your family
  • Clear you wanting to get approval from your family
  • Imagine how they talk and think about you negatively and clear the feelings that come up in your body.

Afterwards keep thinking of happy moments with your family. When there is something negative left, clear it. You can also use Faster EFT instead of the sedona method.

Sedona Method

How to release your feelings

  1. Move from head to heart

Since you’ll be dealing with your feelings it makes sense to be working from the feeling area of your heart. Allow your attention to drop from your head to your heart area. You may find it helpful to direct a few breaths to your heart area to help make this transition.

  1. Identify the feeling

Choose an issue that’s bothering you, and ask yourself:

As I consider <this issue="">, what feeling is present right now?

Eg: As I consider <tomorrow’s presentation="">, what feeling is present?

Answer: I feel afraid – fear.

TIP Avoid any temptation to go back into your head and start thinking… “I’m afraid I’ll dry up, and they’ll think I’m stupid, and then…”. The beauty of Sedona releasing is that you don’t need to get tied up with the complications of thoughts, you simply work with the feelings. As you release the feelings the thoughts fall away too.

TIP If it’s difficult to name the feeling, that’s OK, simply use a phrase like ‘this uncomfortable feeling’.

  1. Welcome the feeling

The next step is to welcome the feeling as best you can. Ask yourself:

Could I welcome this feeling?

In a gentle way, allow the feeling to be as fully present as possible.

Notice what it feels like. For example you might feel anger as tension in your chest, or sadness as tightness in your throat. Or you may have more of an energetic sensation of constriction. Or you may not sense anything – that’s fine.

Sometimes the feeling releases after this step along!

TIP If it feels too scary to welcome the feeling fully, simply allow yourself to be in touch with the feeling as much as you can right now. If this is just the edge of, say, a strong anger, that’s fine.

  1. Ask yourself three questions

Now you’re ready to ask yourself the three questions at the heart of the Sedona Method.

For all the questions, answer from your heart. This means trusting yourself to go with your ‘gut response ’. For the first two questions, answer with a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. Could I let this <fear> go? Would I let it go? When? TIP If your answer to questions 1. or 2. is a ‘No’, that’s fine. You may have released the feeling anyway; if not you can ask the questions again.

TIP If your thoughts start to intrude with explanations why you can’t let go, simply take your attention back to your heart area, and focus on your feelings.

  1. Repeat as needed

Letting go of emotions is like unpeeling the layers of an onion. Sometimes the feeling goes quickly; other times you need to repeat steps 3. and 4. a number of times.



answered 22 Jan '13, 10:59

releaser99's gravatar image


@releaser99, thank you so much for responding to my request and the brilliant answer. It looks like a lot of work (scary). something i would come back to read again and again. How do you let go of fear of rejection or fear of being judged? how did you go about doing it in your own experience?

(08 Feb '13, 18:48) dreamersmiles

@dreamersmiles You are welcome. Remember that every problem is just a palm feeling in the body. I simply identify those feelings in my inner body. Then I use a clearing technique to clear them. However sometimes I first try to identify the core belief behind those feelings, because it helps with letting go on a more deep level. Sometimes it takes a few minutes or hours for a problem. It depends on the intensity and layers of the issue.

(09 Feb '13, 00:15) releaser99
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