This question has been on my mind for a while now and I would really appreciate some help.

I was dating a guy and three weeks ago, I decided to break up because after we talked, he confessed that he was not looking for a serious commitment, as he is unsure how his current situation (lost his job, wants to return to his native country- US etc.).

I felt that I deserve someone in the same place as me, i.e. looking for someone to love and took that decision. Most of the times, I feel great about my decision. I have been keeping a positive aspects notebook and am working on improving my alignment with my source.

I still desire my ex, I am open to the idea of finding someone better aligned with me, and however I still want him and think about him. I generally feel happy and loving when I think of my ex. However, I start to become confused in some time, wondering should I be thinking about my ex, or not.

I still want what is ultimately best for me; my question is what do I do when I think of my ex? Should I stop thinking about him all together? If I miss him and desire him, how should I act in that situation?

I understand that I must continue to be aligned with my higher self, just sometimes thinking of my ex derails my thoughts.

asked 28 Oct '10, 19:06

lovejoynow's gravatar image


edited 28 Oct '10, 19:56

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Thanks for editing the question title, Barry! It makes so much more sense now and describes my thoughts exactly.

(28 Oct '10, 20:08) lovejoynow

There are quite a few questions regarding relationships that you may find helpful - just type the word 'relationship' into the search bar at the top righthand corner of the page and press enter.

(28 Oct '10, 20:53) Michaela

@Lovejoynow - You're very welcome

(28 Oct '10, 21:15) Barry Allen ♦♦
showing 1 of 3 show 2 more comments

Human relationships are hugely complex vibrational structures.

When you are thinking of your ex, you won't just be thinking of him in some straightforward, apparently rational and logical way, like you might think of how to cook tonight's dinner.

Instead, you'll be thinking of your break up (which evokes a certain vibrational response), the good times you've spent together (which evokes another vibrational response), the bad times you've spent together (which evokes yet another vibrational response)...and so on, and so on.

Mix up all those vibrational responses and you're left with a vibrational soup of emotion that ebbs and flows like the tide.

And especially since there are strong desires involved, it can feel like you are being dragged helplessly along with those ever-changing emotional currents. It can all be terribly confusing and upsetting one minute, and joyful and free-ing the next minute.

So what do you do?

Well, I don't think anyone can really advise you as to the specifics of your unique situation based upon a few paragraphs of text.

However, as a bit of general advice...

In my own life, I try to follow the general rule that if I don't feel good in a particular moment, I do nothing.

But then when my mood changes and now I do feel good, I then do what I feel inspired to do...until I've gone far enough with it that I don't feel good any more.

That way, you are always being guided (by your emotions) towards situations that will please you as you manifest them.

What those situations eventually turn out to be is anyone's guess :)


answered 28 Oct '10, 21:38

Stingray's gravatar image


Yes the Emotional Guidance System has worked wonders for me also.

(28 Oct '10, 21:54) jim 10

Breaking up is always hard on both parties, and you will both have to go through the grieving period of the separation in the relationship. You now have a void in your life, emptiness, and the need to feel fulfilled. So it is natural for you to still have the desire, and emotion of wanting him. You will need space, and time to heal, in order to get comfortable about the break up in the relationship, and to accept the fact that it is over, and he is no longer your partner.

Whenever you start to think about him, acknowledge it, reminisce if you want, and then let it go. In time you will see that it will get easier, and easier, and hopefully, you will soon find someone else to fill that void in your life. So basically, you have to take control of your life, be strong, and do what is right for you! I hope this helps.


answered 29 Oct '10, 05:04

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦

well spoken....

(29 Oct '10, 10:49) fred

meditate and quiet the mind you will find your answer!


answered 05 May '11, 01:13

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

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