In the past I've had trouble making decisions but more recently I've tried to trust my intuition and act when a thought comes to me, especially in relation to contacting people who suddenly come to mind about certain goals such as finding a new job or pursuing an interest. But almost as soon as I take what I consider to be an inspired action, I double guess myself and believe I've made the wrong decision. I feel that it is due to the accumulated experience that usually when I've been brave and taken a step, what I had hoped for hasn't eventuated. I don't want to stop taking action but at the same time I don't like to feel that I keep making the wrong choices.

What's underlying the way I'm feeling? Is it resistance? Negative thinking? Should I wait until a stronger nudge before I act? Is it just feedback from the Universe to fine tune my steps? Basically should I keep taking action and modify my thoughts to stop feeling like I've done the wrong thing or find a better way of making a decision about my next step?

asked 02 Oct '14, 17:43

Inner%20Beauty's gravatar image

Inner Beauty

If you are feeling this regret as soon as you've made the decision (instead of some time later after some life circumstances change) then I would carefully consider what "state of being" you are in when you are "inspired" to your decisions.

I think many people think "inspired actions" (actions you feel drawn to take in the moment) are to be fully-trusted always.

I don't agree with that.

It depends what emotional state you were in when the "inspired action" was inspired.

There have been a number of times in my past when I've been in a very bad-feeling emotional state and have felt "inspired" to land a punch on someone :) That's just as legitimate an inspired action as helping a frail old person across the road or some random act of kindness :)

Generally, after engaging in violent behavior, one tends to have a period of regret, sometimes due to injuries sustained :) but usually because you realize that these kinds of "inspired actions" are not truly in harmony with who you are when you are feeling more aligned.

A way to visualize this is to consider the following diagram with the idea that Source always draws you upwards on the emotional guidance scale....

alt text if, say, you were feeling Insecurity (#21) or Fear (#22), then Anger (#17), Revenge (#18), Hatred/Rage (#19) will all be legitimate "inspired actions" that you may be feel called towards.

Contrast this with, say, being in a state of Optimism (#5) you are not going to feel inspired to Revenge (#18) from there because it's downwards on the scale. Source is always trying to guide you ("inspire you") to a state of greater alignment (upwards on the diagram).

Now the area at which you can start to trust those inspired actions is the light-green Feeling-Good area starting at Contentment (#7) because now you have some degree of more-conscious alignment with your Inner/Higher/Broader can "hear" the true guidance of your Source more clearly.

So that's one solution I would suggest for your dilemma...

...Get into the best-feeling-state you can be in before allowing yourself to follow inspired actions

...and this idea comes back to the one I keep pushing time-and-time again on IQ:

Vortex First, Any Way You Can, Then Everything Else


The other possibility is if your inspired actions have come from a good-feeling state and you now think you should have done something else.

In those cases, I wouldn't worry about it.

  • Firstly, Decisions Are Life so any decision at all is really a good decision :)

  • Secondly, quite often if you are resistant to a certain course of physical action, your Inner/Broader/Higher Self can lead you to take a detour (action-wise) and engage in something physical which turns out to be a distraction tactic to guide you into the vibrational vicinity of a more appropriate physical action. In other words, trust it and just go with the flow even if you don't know where you are flowing to :)

One final suggestion is to just treat your decisions (and any accompanying actions) from any vibrational state as alignment-tools only and not as ways to achieve anything in the physical world. Just give up caring what the actual decision is because it is only a temporary stepping-stone to another decision shortly, which is then a stepping-stone to another decision, and another, and another...and so on.

Bashar pushes this action-oriented idea alot and I personally enjoy using it alot.

It comes down to always do the most exciting thing in the moment and as soon as something else feels more exciting - even if it's a minute later - go do that instead :) This is explained in more detail in How can I become more disciplined and consistent in whatever I do?


answered 03 Oct '14, 02:48

Stingray's gravatar image


edited 03 Oct '14, 02:58

Thanks so much @Stingray. I see the importance of just making decisions -especially when in a good feeling place - and then not judging them. I also read the 'decisions are life' post and started today to implement the Mark Foster Time Management system and it's actually quite fun and getting me motivated. It's here for anyone who wants to try it. The link in your response is no longer valid.

(04 Oct '14, 10:24) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty - You're welcome. Thanks for pointing out the broken link. Here is the updated link to all the various Mark Forster Time Management systems: . I'll amend the original posting also

(05 Oct '14, 01:43) Stingray

Hello Inner Beauty

Part of making any decision involves imagining an outcome that we would desire, the one, which we are hoping for. Disappointments can come about when the hoped for outcome crosses the fine line between hope and expectation. This ideal outcome, however, will always be just one of any number of possible or probable outcomes, especially where others are involved. There are simply too many variables, which we have no control over, or no knowledge of. Sometimes they work in our favor and sometimes not. Second guessing yourself and the feelings that result are likely due to the belief that decisions must either "right" or "wrong".

This is one of the limiting core beliefs that begin to take hold at a very young age. It is continually reinforced throughout our lives by parents, peers, associates and anyone else who believes they are better able to make "your" decisions for you, then stand by ready to say "I told you so" when the decisions you make don't bring about the desired result. This leads to a lifetime of second guessing yourself or worse, an inability to make decisions at all due to the anxiety that takes over.

All this stress resulting from a choice to believe that every decision you make needs to be classified as right, wrong, good, bad, smart, stupid or whatever. Release this very limiting belief. Tell yourself instead that there is no such thing as a "wrong" decision. There are no "bad" choices. There is only a timeless soul joyfully experiencing a brief moment of physicality to learn, grow and express its creativity within the medium of time and space. We are all unique and individual extensions of the source energy of all that is, enabling it to expand and discover more about itself though us. Source does not question or judge the decisions and the choices we make. It does, however, find great joy in our making decisions regardless of what we perceive as the result, know that a decision made now may have an unseen affect, possibly years in the future, therefore even a "wrong" decision made today could have a very right effect at some point. If what I am suggesting is more than you can accept at this time, try first to believe or know that you do, and will, benefit from the knowledge you obtain each time you make a decision. Every decision you believe was wrong will most likely help you to make an upcoming right decision based on what you have learned.

Try to set aside a few minutes each day to remind yourself that regardless of who you are, what you do, where you live, how you look, how you feel, how smart or dumb you are; regardless of your successes or failures, social ability, personality, deformities, disabilities, race, nationality, beliefs, or the lack of, you are first and foremost a being considered by the source (or God if you prefer) to be a soul, worthy and deserving of the infinite flow of the unconditional love that is flowing to you. This enabling energy is given to you without restriction. Only you can limit this energy flow by adopting limiting beliefs that act as choke points, disrupting the flow, and triggering a continuing cycle of negative emotions. Expose those beliefs and allow the energy to flow free of all resistance. It may not be easy as some beliefs are very well camouflaged and resistant to exposure. Because we don't always pay attention to everything we say or write, we can easily miss the fact that we are constantly espousing our hidden beliefs yet rarely hear them. I do not know if this answer accurately applies to your question. I suppose its just a long way of saying "modify my thoughts" (one of the multiple choice answers you suggested) only I'd change it to read Modify my beliefs. Either way, I hope this helps.


answered 03 Oct '14, 02:56

i4cim2b's gravatar image


@i4cim2b - I can really see the link between my upbringing and my difficulty in feeling confident in making decisions. I will try to remind myself that there is 'no wrong decision'. I think that's very true as long as one's motivation and intent is good and not to harm others. thanks again.

(04 Oct '14, 10:27) Inner Beauty
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