Hi Stingray, though the question can seem a bit personal regarding myself, I'm purely asking for some information.

This question stems directly from confusion regarding how one feels zero sort of emotion regarding a huge desire, outlined in 'Is it wrong if I dont feel anything about a wish I really really want to manifest?'. I should actually beckon that I feel as if this is almost myself asking this question about relationships as well. I feel it's all I could truely live with happily for the rest of my life. Yes my desire is happy marriage and children.

This information is stating that the manifestation of a desire is pretty much about to arrive once we are above the vibration of our desires.

If I use an exercise such as visualisation, and I am feeling excited/ passionate/ loving/ appreciative about this visualised scene of mine (which is the arrivement of my desire), does this actually mean that it will not come until I feel sort of neutral about it? Again, linking from this other question,

The thrill is an indication that the vibrational gap still exists between where you are and what you want.""

Oh, and when I say neutral, I don't really indicate neautral on the emotional guidance scale; I am referring to a sort of "ok, this desire dosn't thrill me or make me any happier much at all, I want something else now...."

Let's say that there is as little negative blockage around this desire as possible, and the visualisation makes it amazing to experience in the NOW. I am asking this question because this visualisation isn't really becoming boring, and I'm not really fed up with thinking it, despite I've done it for about 2-3 weeks.

Providing I keep focusing on my desire in pure appreciation and positive, optimistic and faithful light, is it true that it's only going to come once all of this 'goodness' of basking in the thoughts of my desire is milked out completely? For the desire to come must I seize energy flow towards it specifically? Because if that is the case, I don't think I could possibly do that....Honestly, even when I was in the small little romances in my life, all I did was think about how good they were and appreciate them pretty much all the time until they ended, and then I got sad. When I was in love, all I did was think about the experiences of it; it made me feel fantastically amazing.....

I guess then if you could, in detail, unpack this quote from the question Focus on What we want or ask and forget about it? ------ "Sure, they might get excited because they have one million dollars but that's a very different vibration." What is this style of excitement and vibration of then?

Is it possible to become engulfed in this style of "neutral" relaxation with even the biggest of desires? Do you know if it's a possibility I could feel that way with this rock hard desire of mine?

Deepest, deepest thankyou. Regardless of everything else in my life, I sincerely feel so greatful and 'spoilt' that there are real people out there who give up their time and effort to help me and others on this website on their personal inner quest:)

asked 17 Feb '12, 08:08

Nikulas's gravatar image


edited 17 Feb '12, 08:38


+1 for a great question with a great answer that will help a lot people! Good for you, Nik! <3 Jai

(17 Feb '12, 12:02) Jaianniah

@nikulas-after strongly desiring a relationship for a long time i manifested it in the exact moment that i let it go and said to myself id be ok if it never happened.fact.hope this helps ;)

(17 Feb '12, 16:36) Satori

Thanks Jai. @Satori, hats off to you, you must be so happy.

(17 Feb '12, 21:26) Nikulas
showing 1 of 3 show 2 more comments

I think what you are getting at in your question (which raises a good point) is the difference between excitement and yearning.

For example, over the past week in my life, I've had some insights into my own application of manifesting processes that have been making me very excited. It's a kind of leaping around the room, punching-the-air-in-delight kind of excitement - which I actually have been :) - and the more excited I've become, the more insights I've had which has made me even more excited. I would classify that as pure excitement...I'm just thrilled everytime I get a new insight but I'm not at all upset or bothered if they come or if they don't come.

I think Cory expressed this concept much better than me in the comments to Why should we not share our joy with other people if we have manifested something amazing in our life? when he talked about not having the feeling of being "taken by surprise" when something good happens. It doesn't mean you're not happy when something good happens, it means it's just your normal expectation that these things are going to happen.

Yearning on the other hand would be the kind of "excitement" you have when you see an amazingly expensive and unique car drive past you on the street but then you suddenly realize that it doesn't belong to you but someone else instead. It's also like watching someone win the lottery on television and almost feeling a tinge of sadness because it's not you.

Yearning is excitement with a feeling of lack attached ...and that stands in the way of you physically manifesting what you want.

I've written a bit about this difference between excitement and yearning before in Is the feeling of expectation sufficient for the manifestation to occur?

It's also similar to the idea of the difference between gratitude and appreciation which people think are the same thing but they are not really. One of them has a "vibrational drag" attached to it. As you get more experienced with playing around with sensing the different vibrational frequencies (or feelings) of different thoughts, you can feel the difference quite clearly. See Is there a difference between gratitude and appreciation? for further information.

So the kind of excitement that doesn't get in the way of what you want is the excitement with presence rather than the excitement with absence (yearning). See Will my new house manifest?

Excitement with absence (yearning) creates more (or maintains) absence.

To me, right now having played with these ideas for years, the difference between excitement and yearning is like the difference between black and white. I can almost feel a punch to my solar plexus when I feel yearning instead of excitement...it's that different.

But for someone with less experience, it can be difficult at first to sense the difference though I strongly believe that anyone can fine-tune their vibrational sensing abilities to highly precise levels if they have the desire and are willing to practice.

So what I always recommend when starting out is that you only visualize for the fun of visualizing and forget about manifesting the thing you want completely. If you focus on the excitement from the visualization so much that you really don't care if the manifestation comes or not, you've eliminated all the yearning completely...and what you want is on it's way.

But like I've said in previous postings, this is not a feeling you can fake. You can't trick the universe into "thinking" that you no longer have yearning, you really have to let go of noticing that your manifestation isn't there yet. You really have to make peace with where you are right now.

So you have to ask yourself, when you are doing your visualizations: "Is the feeling I am getting from this visualization enough for me, or am I still secretly after the manifestation (and thereby noticing the absence of it)?"

If the visualization is enough, you're doing just fine.

If you are stuck in yearning and can't find a way to escape from it, it can be much easier to just give up on what you want completely and not think about it any more.

One last point, it is quite possible even with yearning to manifest what you want. But what I've found is that when I've yearned for something and then manifested it, it doesn't stay in my life (it's temporary) because I wasn't really a true vibrational match to the presence of it.

Hope that answers your question.


answered 17 Feb '12, 09:18

Stingray's gravatar image


edited 17 Feb '12, 10:04

Extra smooth, Stingray :) Yes you've detailed things that are making me just go "Ooohh.....THAT'S why...." I strongly like your last paragraph, how it is possible to get things with yearning, but they are usually temporary. This would probably explain all the loves in my life, why they only last a few weeks at the most.

And, just as an example, when those single women who go to weddings start crying as they do in the movies, are they crying because they are viewing the situation........

(17 Feb '12, 09:51) Nikulas

.......through eyes of lack? Yes, they are happy of the wedding, but there is a hint of absence involved when looking at the happy couple about their own lack. If this is the case, it explains why I now cry over love stories more than ever. Stingray, I know perhaps sometimes you must get so sick of re-linking those same popular links, but honestly you've taught me so much, I am appreciative (sorry, no gratitude though after reading that link hahaha) :)

(17 Feb '12, 09:57) Nikulas

One smaller 'mini question', and that is, as I cant find on any of your answers (but please prove me wrong), how can I simply stop thinking about it? How can I just 'give up?' Because I know that if I try and do that Ill know it will be to speed up the manifestation.

And yes, I agree, since I am fairly new to this manifesting stuff, learning to distinguish my emotions is defiantly the entire 'training' of it all.

(17 Feb '12, 09:58) Nikulas

@Nikulas - I'm glad to help :) Regarding weddings, I've known happily married women to cry too so the common theme is probably a release of emotion, whether lackful or not. Regarding "giving up", you really need to just focus on something else...

(17 Feb '12, 10:20) Stingray

@Nikulas - ...as hinted at in this answer and the one it links to. If your life experience is such that a subject keeps reactivating itself (or reminding you of it) then this is a situation where you need to deliberately move what you are thinking about the subject into a better-feeling place and so...

(17 Feb '12, 10:25) Stingray

@Nikulas - ...that's where it's quite appropriate to tackle it "head on" using processes like, for example, EFT or Focus Blocks/Wheels so that (at the very least) you do not activate lack whenever that subject reactivates. The neutral point is your friend

(17 Feb '12, 10:28) Stingray

Thankyou kindly Stingray, I'm all out of questions for a good while now :)

(17 Feb '12, 10:54) Nikulas

@Stingray - This was a great lesson...as a matter of fact, you have 'moved' me along the way at light-speed this week with your help, and I thank you! One particular sentence you wrote above is especially true (I would put it in bold, myself): "You really have to make peace with where you are right now." This is what I have finally accomplished, at least have started to achieve, this week! Also, thanks for helping Nik! Blessings, Jai

(17 Feb '12, 12:06) Jaianniah

@Jaianniah - Yes, "making peace with where you are" is possibly the most important thing I've ever learned regarding manifesting. So often we want to run away from "where we are" as soon as possible but, ironically, holding that self-critical attitude of "where I am right now is wrong" just holds us there even longer. Just a simple attitude-shift of finding a way to "Be Happy Now" can change everything in our lives dramatically. I've certainly found this to be true in my own life.

(17 Feb '12, 12:35) Stingray

@Stingray - This has helped me so much...I was thinking...had a flash...perhaps if you wrote a piece about "Making Peace with where you are", it would help people UNDERSTAND why they are NOT manifesting what they desire...Thanks again..I myself would love to read such an article written by you. Not that this would entice you, but I would be willing to bet it would be a 10+ point posting...Love, Jai

(17 Feb '12, 12:42) Jaianniah

@Jaianniah - I've expressed that message on this site in various forms more times than I can remember :) It's not about what I write anyway, it's about what others are ready to hear - and when they are ready to hear it, they'll hear it somehow whether through IQ or some other medium. In fact, the message will be unavoidable because that's what they're now lined up with :) As Abraham have said many times: "Words don't teach. Life experience teaches"

(17 Feb '12, 12:52) Stingray

@Stingray -You must have been VERY frustrated w/ me!!! I just did not GET IT until this week..It has been an amazing week...I will not bore you with the tale...suffice to say that I "get it" NOW, and actually am ready to listen...:o) I have moved very far, very fast this week...To think it all started by punching a punching bag...I am grateful for the "stings" now. I HEAR YOU. You are indeed a blessing to IQ! Thank you for what you have taught all of us..and me. Love, Jai

(17 Feb '12, 13:59) Jaianniah

Joe Vitale said at the end of his five step manifesting formula "If you want a short-cut to manifesting, Be Happy Now!" I think that just as Stingray said, what is of great importance to manifesting is just simply being happy now. :-)

(17 Feb '12, 14:24) Wade Casaldi

@Stingray-manifesting 101,great.very helpful thanks;)

(17 Feb '12, 16:43) Satori

I understand the concept behind making peace with where you are.. but why does "being happy now" = "making peace with where you are" ?

(17 Feb '12, 20:03) kakaboo

@Stingray, I am with Jai, last night reading this a light bulb in my head just 'clicked.' I can distinguish emotions well, and I understand how manifesting works now. Good lesson manifesting 101 :)

(17 Feb '12, 21:28) Nikulas

@kakaboo - "Be Happy Now" and "Make Peace With Where You Are" are just memorable slogans that you can throw at people and they get a sense of what you mean. If you wanted to be strictly accurate then the phrase should be something like "Be-Neutral-or-Content-or-Hopeful-Or-PositivelyExpectant-or-Enthusiastic-or-Passionate-or-Joyful-etc-etc-etc-NOW"...but I don't think that is quite as catchy, do you? :)

(18 Feb '12, 07:23) Stingray

@Everyone - (hopefully, there is not a user called "Everyone"), you're all very welcome. All this stuff is really obvious once it clicks but don't worry if you don't "get it" yet (you definitely will one day), or if you think it took you a long time to "get it" (there's no competition here). The thing is that all of us already know all of this at a higher level - that's why we recognize the truth of it - but it's in that journey to re-remembering that the value of life lies.

(18 Feb '12, 07:32) Stingray

Wonderful... Very insightful... Brilliant... Spoken like a True Leader!

(18 Feb '12, 09:33) The Prophet
showing 2 of 19 show 17 more comments

I see it like this. High vibrations are only the ability to have our energy and knowledge in good standings. so if we have a better grasp on our inner self, then yes, we most defiantly can manifest better. I also find that when I manifest I do it easier than most because I have no super imbalanced emotions when I am trying o get the things I want,. Because I do not NEED anything, only want them, I know if i do not get them it is ok, so my worries of not getting it is helping me calm and level emotions. Hope it helps.

love n light



answered 17 Feb '12, 13:08

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

@rob - a balance of emotions and a grasp on our inner self, yes i like it :)

(18 Feb '12, 06:29) blubird two

@bluebird two thank u

(14 Oct '12, 09:41) TReb Bor yit-NE
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