I am manifesting a relationship. I am using all of the lessons I have learned here, and I feel that I am so close, I can almost touch him.

I have been here on this site, "lurking", for months now, and I appreciate you all so much. I've taken this long to muster the courage to ask a question because I did try to communicate a few years ago on a very different site, and was very badly hurt by a cruel, mocking response. But you all seem so beautiful to me, I am ready to light myself on fire and walk out on that wire once again....Deep breath... here goes. I can't tell you what a difference you have made in my life. My gentle, loving, happy personality has been restored after about a decade of feeling crushed and just trying to survive life. More than anything, I am just so glad to know that I am not alone after all. You are people I can talk to! You are all here!!! I am so glad I found you!!!

Stingray. Being able to talk with a teacher of your caliber is an honor I really did not see coming. Thank you so much for all you do. I have reached a point now, when things are very difficult and I am struggling with doubts and disappointment, I can just click on anything you have written here and then follow the subjects and different posts to feel total relief..... any time I need to! Who knew??? You are a true blessing, and I cannot find the words to thank you enough, sincerely. Thank you, thank you Stingray.

Eddie, Vesuvius, Jai and Wade, Dollar Bill, LeeAnn, all of you.... I have read so much of your questions and answers, and you have all helped me so much. I just had to say hello and thank you. I also just really need to say that I miss Nikulas very much, and think about him often. So many times, when a question really hit me where I live, I would bring it up, and it was from Nikulas. A big, warm, loving hug to him, I can't wait to hear how he is doing, someday soon I really hope.

LeeAnn, I am so encouraged by your stories of having manifested a special relationship for yourself - you truly have both given me so much hope. This is an issue that is very difficult for me to have a calm, playful attitude about, because it just means so much to me. I have been on my own now for more than 10 years, and being such a loving, passionate woman, it's really sort of hard to believe this has been my life, but here I am. I did want this to some extent. I wanted to raise my son without the dramas that go along with dating, and I have done that. He is grown, successful, and off living happily ever after with his lovely girlfriend for the past 2 years now, and they are a great source of love and happiness in my life.

And now, I am alone. It has really begun to hit home for me in this past year just how alone I really am. I do have some good friends, but no one I can share the intimacy and deep connection I desire so much, and once took for granted. It feels so unnatural now to live without it. When I found this site, I remembered a lot of things that I had forgotten, and set about learning to live again.

I wanted especially to ask you, Stingray, for your thoughts on where I am. I have been visualizing and allowing my thoughts - as long as they make me feel happy - to dwell on this person I am bringing into my life so much, that I sometimes wake up and can almost...... almost..... feel he is lying there beside me. It is a sweet feeling that makes me very happy, so I allow myself to indulge in it and encourage it.

So close..... but it has been at this level for over a month now. I have been thinking, I wonder if now is the time I should detach from thinking about it? I have giving it a lot of thought and study, and read all I can find on the subject - ask, believe and let go, or keeping it all in my mind, bringing myself into vibrational alignment with this new reality? That's where my question really lies, I think. If I let it all go and try to forget about it - get out of my own way - will I still be aligning myself vibrationally? Can you go, successfully, from one manifestation technique to another in this way? Or should I just hang on as I am going? Am I that close?

Any input would be so very much appreciated. Thank you all so much.

asked 01 Jun '12, 14:16

Grace's gravatar image



Hi Grace, welcome to IQ. I too am a single mom choosing to not date while raising my son for the same no drama reason as well as others. I am glad to meet another mom with the same 'conviction' for a lack of a better word. I can't speak from experiencein manifesting the right relationship, but my advice is to love yourself first.

(04 Jun '12, 11:44) Fairy Princess

Hi Fairy Princess. Thank you for the welcome! And it was worth it, raising my son that way. May not be for everyone, but worked out well for us. And thank you for the advice, I'm learning....

(04 Jun '12, 14:45) Grace
showing 1 of 2 show 1 more comments

Welcome to IQ, Grace. As Wade says, this is a caring and compassionate place so you need not worry about interacting here.

I can certainly relate to your feeling of "being alone" despite having friends. I spent many years with that feeling and I quite understand how soul-destroying it can be. There's a feeling of "something missing" that you can't quite seem to fill.

One thing I've finally come to understand thanks to the many insightful people/beings I've encountered along my own continuing path of awakening is that you are never alone even when you think you are...there are powerful consciousnesses constantly swirling around, interacting with, and supporting each of us even if we are not aware that they are there...but that's probably an answer for another question sometime :)

You clearly understand already many of the reality-creation ideas that many of us on IQ endlessly talk about so I'm sure you realize that the "intimacy and deep connection" you are actually seeking is the connection to your Self (your inner self).

When we love another, we are actually using the other person as an excuse to love the parts of our Self that the other represents to us.

And when we don't feel fully "connected" to ourselves, we often project that missing connection onto the need for an intimate relationship with another.

And that's fine, but I'd just like to remind you that when the person you seek arrives in your life (which they definitely will, given your vibrational attitude) you may discover that they still don't quite fill that physical "gap" in the way you expected them to.

Nevertheless, there is a vast amount of joyful experience to be had when interacting physically with others (not least because we define who we are physically in relation to other human beings - a mother, a daughter, a lover, a friend, a colleague etc.) so here's some advice on pulling in that physical manifestation...

I think you've basically answered your own question regarding what I think is the most appropriate course of action for you right now.

If you are at a point where you already feel good about what you want and you have a feeling of Expectation about it then you've done all the vibrational work you ever need to do regarding it

Because of the principle that "your vibration stays where you last left it", if you were to do nothing else now but keep yourself feeling happy on other subjects, the Universe has no choice but to manifest physically what you want in your life.

The vibration you are currently emitting has to be matched by the Law of Attraction - because that's what the Law of Attraction does, consistently, impersonally and eternally. A thought, once thought, pulses eternally at the same frequency until you revisit it and change the frequency of it by thinking something different.

So, yes, get your attention off the subject - onto other good-feeling subjects - and let the Universe deliver what it now has to deliver to you in whatever way is most appropriate for you. Don't try to force it to come in a certain form or a certain way, just let it unfold naturally and you'll often be surprised at how different (and better) the end-result is compared to what you originally expected.

For me, for getting my attention off a subject, I have a long list of hobbies and interests and things that I enjoy doing for no reason other than it makes me feel good to do them. I also have long lists of things I want to learn about and experience in this physical world and become an "armchair expert" in.

Whenever I find myself getting too attached to something that I feel I need, I just get involved in some of those things and it helps me forget about the thing I am yearning for (beware of yearning!) and that provides the space to let what I want naturally unfold in my life.

As I mentioned in a previous answer recently, when one can treat the positive emotion of what you want as the final manifestation then you are in the perfect vibrational stance to allow it to physically manifest.

So a good way of living life generally is to mold your thoughts into a good-feeling place regarding what you want and once you feel you are there, simply move on to other subjects in your life with the knowing that you've now done everything you need to do regarding that original subject.

You can allow yourself to feel great as vibrational matches naturally pop up in your life and make themselves known to you but really, all your vibrational work is done and it's just up to the Universe now to fulfil it's side of the bargain...which it certainly will when you keep yourself out of the way of it.

You are not really changing manifestation techniques by doing this because, ultimately, there is only one manifestation technique and that is to align yourself with where your Inner Self already is (living with your manifestation). Just Getting Happy (direct alignment with Self) is the simplest and easiest manifestation technique of all.

All these mental games we play with ourselves and which we label as "manifestation techniques" are really just excuses we are giving to ourselves to allow that alignment to happen and thereby allow what we have already created to naturally flow to us.

So there's a few rambling thoughts for you, Grace. Hope there's something in there to help you :)


answered 02 Jun '12, 03:36

Stingray's gravatar image


edited 02 Jun '12, 03:40

@Stingray-fantastic, there's something in this for everyone:)

(04 Jun '12, 08:43) Satori

Thank you Stingray. A wise, balanced and encouraging answer. You have really helped. Sorry I have taken so long to get back, been having technical difficulties. I feel so much better already. And your rambling thoughts are facinating, so please, don't ever try to stem the tide, ramble on... You've reminded me of a quote I absolutely love from Toby Ziegler on the tv series West Wing when caught smiling for no apparant reason:

"What? Happiness is my default position!"

Words to live by!

(04 Jun '12, 11:12) Grace

Somehow, after rereading my question and the answers, I can see more clearly... what I was really asking was, please tell me, do you mean, me too??? I can be this? I can do this? I feel this way, but does that mean that it is as valid and powerful as when any one of YOU feels this way? When I look at so many other folks' questions on this site, I can see they are really only asking this also. That does not change the fact that I really needed to ask, though!

(04 Jun '12, 11:14) Grace

Also, you made a suggestion for another question, regarding our never being alone. You may have only been joking, but I have taken this literally, as you have touched on a subject that has been dancing on my nerves for years. I will put it in the form of a new question, thanks for bringing it up!

(04 Jun '12, 11:15) Grace

This answer is an encyclopedia, It is a perfect guide line for all LOA questioners.

Rich, helpful and full of information links. One link leads to many of rich path of acknowledge, it must be marked!

(04 Jun '12, 13:01) r0la

You're all welcome. I'm glad it was useful for you :)

(05 Jun '12, 09:24) Stingray

@Grace Welcome to IQ! This was a nice question and stingray provided an even amazing answer to it, as always. Could you tell me the link for that question you mentioned you'd ask? Much love and light to you dear!

(05 Jun '12, 09:28) MagicalUniverse

MagicalUniverse thank you for the welcome! I should have included that link, huh? Pardon, my Newbie is showing..... I think it's this: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/52495/i-am-never-alone-so-who-is-it-who-walks-beside-me That work? :)

(05 Jun '12, 11:17) Grace

@Grace LOl! :D No Problems dear! Thanks for sharing it :) God bless :)

(05 Jun '12, 11:30) MagicalUniverse
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

Welcome Grace! I am glad you did get up the courage to again step forwards. Yes I am sure you will be welcomed here warmly by all here. This is a caring compassionate place of understanding and peace.

I believe a book that would be of help to you is The Game Of Life And How To Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn.

There are a few stories of manifesting relationships in that book. It is a very good book I highly recommend.


answered 01 Jun '12, 16:04

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

Thank you! I have seen the book and the author mentioned here before. I will check it out.

(01 Jun '12, 16:38) Grace

I bought the Kindle edition and read most of it over the weekend. Thanks again, Wade - this book makes things wonderfully clear and simple.

(04 Jun '12, 11:09) Grace

Yes all of her books are very good. I am so glad it helps you Grace. :-)

The Kindle edition is very good I am sure, but if you wanted it free there are pdf versions all over the web. http://www.absolute1.net/free-self-help-books-online.html

(05 Jun '12, 09:45) Wade Casaldi

.....Oh. Um.... Once again, my Newbie is showing LOL!!!

(05 Jun '12, 11:20) Grace

I am reading that now. Loving it! Thanks for sharing this.

(05 Jun '12, 12:22) Fairy Princess

Thanks for the link Wade!

(05 Jun '12, 14:01) MagicalUniverse

@Fairy Princess I thought you had read that a long time ago... I have no idea how many times I have recommended that book on here with the links for it.

Oh well it's never too late to start. :-)

(05 Jun '12, 14:03) Wade Casaldi

That is a book I read again and again from time to time. :-)

(05 Jun '12, 14:07) Wade Casaldi

What made you think that? Did we have a discussion here? If you have a link, that would be great. I know that sometimes I read something on here that I think I hadn't read before, but then I find evidence that I had. :)

(05 Jun '12, 19:33) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess Only the fact that I have from time to time posting links to her books on here maybe since joining actually.

Here are three places very good for her books. The first is dedicated to her only. The other two are great places for many excellent free spiritual and manifesting books and Florence Scovel Shin's books.




(05 Jun '12, 20:01) Wade Casaldi
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